logo PRE-ORDER NOW

Twitter!

Michael Ian Black is represented by Ted Schachter @ Schachter Entertainment. (310) 712-3730.

Keppler

  • For more information on bringing Michael Ian Black as a speaker to your next event, contact Keppler Speakers bureau by visiting its web site or by calling 703-516-4000.

Photo Albums

« Greg Giraldo | Main | My Album of the Year »

November 24, 2010

Three Conversations I Had With Strangers on Omegle.com

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: Hi!

Stranger: asl

You: 39 m what's "L?"

Stranger: petafile freak get a life

You: Wait, are you mad at me?

You: What's "petafile?"

Stranger: your so dam old to go on this web site

You: Yeah, but I only have a few grey hairs at my temples.

Stranger: wat coler are your pubes

You: Thankfully, still chestnut brown.

Stranger: freaky old bitch

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: Hi!

Stranger: 19 f here

You: I'm a thirty-nine-year old man in the USA!

You: Where are you?

Stranger: indonesia

You: Is that near Michigan?

Stranger: no

You: Sorry, I'm really bad at geometry.

Stranger: horrible

You: Do you have cable TV where you are?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Hi!

You: My name is Michael. I'm 39. I live in the USA!

You: What about you?

Stranger: France? Deutschland? Österreich? Italy? Spain?

You: No, none of those places. Just the USA, although my in-laws visited Italy a few years ago.

Stranger: okay

You: They had a great time.

Stranger: how old are you?

You: 39.

You: How old are you?

Stranger: 15

You: Great. That's a terrific age for learning.

You: Do you go to high school?

Stranger: yés

Stranger: fuck youz

You: Wait - what?

You: Are you mad at me?

Stranger: no

You: Oh, for a second there I thought you said, "fuck you." But that was probably just a mistake.

Stranger: someone other has written this

You: Where are you?

Stranger: i am at school

You: On Saturday?

Stranger: its Tuesday

You: It's Saturday here in the USA.

Stranger: no Wednesday

Stranger: that cannot be

You: Maybe I have my days messed up. I thought it was Saturday. No wonder my boss called so angry!!!

Stranger: youre trying to piss me off are you?

You: Oh my gosh, no!

You: Why are you on this site? I like to meet new people.

Stranger: come stai

You: I don

You: I don't understand what that means.

Stranger: liar you sayd youve been to italy

You: No, I said my in-laws went to Italy. They had a great time.

Stranger: in laws?

Stranger: whats that?

You: Yes, my wife's parents. We sent them to Italy for a present. It cost $$$!

Stranger: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Stranger: pensa magna non sunt, sed nonulli discipoli stulti sunz

Stranger: *sunt

Stranger: sun of a beach

You: Wait, before you said "fuck you," and now "son of a bitch." Maybe you don't know what these words mean in english.

Stranger: no no not son of a bitch i mean sun of a beach

You: Oh.

You: Are you in Italy right now?

Stranger: no

Stranger: fuck your mother

You: I really think you're trying to insult me now.

Stranger: if so what would you do?

You: I would be very disappointed because I thought you seemed like a nice young person.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00e54edada5e88330147e01f2ffb970b

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Three Conversations I Had With Strangers on Omegle.com:

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

aimee

In the first convo... were you talking to someone from 1996? DID YOU TIME TRAVEL MICHAEL IAN BLACK?????

Jessica

The entire time I was reading this, I just kept thinking, 'What in the fuck is Omegle.com?' Now I have my answer and I simply must know, was this some sort of social experiment or an excuse to ignore the kids on a fine autumn day?

suzanna

These made me LOL. I love Omegle, haha!

CYNTHIA DRAN

Nice conversation, it made me lol!
Have a fun Thanksgiving!!!!

James Gingold

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 22 m us
Stranger: what brought ya here?
You: michael ian black's blog
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

golf trolley

Thanks for post. Last month I just think that maybe I am the most unlucky one on omegle. But now I find you. Why some of my friends could met good guys there?

The Naked Redhead

A. maz. ing. I like all the exclamation points you used.

Reen

Mike, you rock at finding stuff to do to entertain yourself.

Here's hoping you continue engaging strangers using that "naive" persona. This and your tweets with "simplehotgirl", were hysterical.

Pip

petafile=39 yr old man who gets off eating veggieburgers

haha

Stranger: Hi
Stranger: asl
You: 19 m usa
Stranger: 16 f canada
Stranger: I like older guys :O
You: What is the gaping mouth supposed to mean?
Stranger: It's where I want your cock to be
You: Oh, I see.
Stranger: How big is it?
You: Lengthwise?
Stranger: Yes
You: 5.5 inches
Stranger: You suck
Partner has disconnected

Steph

Dear Petafile Freak,

Thanks for sharing your brave world wide web adventures. Glad you didn't end up with Chris Hansen walking in with a film crew as you try to hide the wine coolers and strawberry-flavored condoms.

Your funny makes me happy.

I gotta disconnect now.

Claudia

All I can say about three conversations is.. You're better than that, MIB! But I really wanted to comment on Michael & Michael - ever so belatedly. I love the premise, and abandoning it is a travesty- (That's right, strong language.) MIB & Show are really even funnier together.) I read that in making Reno 911, Thomas Lennon et al were originally going to have trad comedy sketches in between the "Cops" scenes. When they started shooting they saw the the police scenes were far more engaging than the sketches. I thought the same thing about M&M- the funniest parts were the behind the scenes look at the M&M show as well as the M&M standup (College) -- including both Michaels talking to their "studio
audience." Comedy Central is not the place, though. IFC seems to be airing shows that other cable networks don't "get." HBO desperately needs something like M&M with Curb ending it's run. And even Starz might air an original series like that- (without censors)- as someone who has watched those six episodes numerous times, I just want to say, I think it's too good to give up on. Please, MIB, have your agents
pitch the show elsewhere! You weren't wrong about it. It's got the unique hilarity of a Fawlty Towers. And the format of an ongoing series (as in Curb) is perfect for yours and Showalter's comedy. Is there any hope?

lawls

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: herrooo
You: i represent Omegle
Stranger: You are lying
You: no don't listen to that thing up there
You: i totally represent omegle
Stranger: What's Omegles middle name?
You: google
Stranger: Wow..you are Omegle
You: i told you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jaime

I tried to read this to my husband. It didn't work aurally. That's the beauty. You're so good at writing things that can't be explained. "Why is that funny?" "Can't explain it. You just have to read it." "But I don't want to read it" "Then you're missing out."

You're my favorite secret Michael :)

Reen

That last sentence was hot Jaime.
However, in my mind I am making the following changes:

1. The smiley face is not at the end of the sentence.

2. The word "Michael" isn't in that sentence, either.

3. The sentence is actually a private message I received FROM Michael to me.


Jay Leno

Hey look, Billy Corgan's hair is growing back.

sarah bell

there are a lot of penises on omegle. i'm not using a euphemism. i literally saw lots and lots of penises on omegle. guys will just but the camera on their cocks. fyi

Todd

I never knew what the site was until reading Black's funny blog posting. I go on there and the first video conversation (with a stranger) was just a man's flicking his penis with his fingers. (It looked like it would hurt). I decided to disconnect.

erbe

You've know idea how much time this has saved me in the forums thanks so much !

Nathan Caton

PMSL!! I must try one of those. If I do, I shall come and post it on here, to let you know how I got on!

Jeremy Scott

Your article is very appealing to me.

birkenstock shoes

I shall come and post it on here, to let you know how I got on!

Kasku

:) Son of a beach (Italian in malta : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMuE-y57BUE )

chanel outlet online

I don't think the mayor will appreciate that he is spending his time tearing down these signs all over the city

UGG

lovin this site.

Post a comment

If you have a TypeKey or TypePad account, please Sign In.