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November 2010

November 24, 2010

Three Conversations I Had With Strangers on Omegle.com

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: Hi!

Stranger: asl

You: 39 m what's "L?"

Stranger: petafile freak get a life

You: Wait, are you mad at me?

You: What's "petafile?"

Stranger: your so dam old to go on this web site

You: Yeah, but I only have a few grey hairs at my temples.

Stranger: wat coler are your pubes

You: Thankfully, still chestnut brown.

Stranger: freaky old bitch

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: Hi!

Stranger: 19 f here

You: I'm a thirty-nine-year old man in the USA!

You: Where are you?

Stranger: indonesia

You: Is that near Michigan?

Stranger: no

You: Sorry, I'm really bad at geometry.

Stranger: horrible

You: Do you have cable TV where you are?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Hi!

You: My name is Michael. I'm 39. I live in the USA!

You: What about you?

Stranger: France? Deutschland? Österreich? Italy? Spain?

You: No, none of those places. Just the USA, although my in-laws visited Italy a few years ago.

Stranger: okay

You: They had a great time.

Stranger: how old are you?

You: 39.

You: How old are you?

Stranger: 15

You: Great. That's a terrific age for learning.

You: Do you go to high school?

Stranger: yés

Stranger: fuck youz

You: Wait - what?

You: Are you mad at me?

Stranger: no

You: Oh, for a second there I thought you said, "fuck you." But that was probably just a mistake.

Stranger: someone other has written this

You: Where are you?

Stranger: i am at school

You: On Saturday?

Stranger: its Tuesday

You: It's Saturday here in the USA.

Stranger: no Wednesday

Stranger: that cannot be

You: Maybe I have my days messed up. I thought it was Saturday. No wonder my boss called so angry!!!

Stranger: youre trying to piss me off are you?

You: Oh my gosh, no!

You: Why are you on this site? I like to meet new people.

Stranger: come stai

You: I don

You: I don't understand what that means.

Stranger: liar you sayd youve been to italy

You: No, I said my in-laws went to Italy. They had a great time.

Stranger: in laws?

Stranger: whats that?

You: Yes, my wife's parents. We sent them to Italy for a present. It cost $$$!

Stranger: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Stranger: pensa magna non sunt, sed nonulli discipoli stulti sunz

Stranger: *sunt

Stranger: sun of a beach

You: Wait, before you said "fuck you," and now "son of a bitch." Maybe you don't know what these words mean in english.

Stranger: no no not son of a bitch i mean sun of a beach

You: Oh.

You: Are you in Italy right now?

Stranger: no

Stranger: fuck your mother

You: I really think you're trying to insult me now.

Stranger: if so what would you do?

You: I would be very disappointed because I thought you seemed like a nice young person.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.