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October 14, 2009


I'm not going to lie. This tour is not going well. For the first time in our moderately illustrious careers, we're having attendance problems. Most performers will not admit when attendance is down, but I am not most performers. Because I am already self-loathing, I take a perverse pride in faltering attendance because it further bolsters my already horrible self-image. Tonight we are in Milwaukee, at a lovely ballroom, and there is a real scarcity of paid audience members. Some of them may have won the tickets and some of them may have just wandered in off the street.

Perhaps the reason is the economy. Perhaps ticket prices are too high ($2,500 a piece). Perhaps people are just sick of us. Or perhaps we have fallen into irrelevance. Whatever the reason, it's discouraging to drive/fly to faraway cities only to show up to be met with a half-hearted shrug and cricket sounds. Sometimes cricket sounds are terrific, like when you go to Cricket World, but when you show up at a big ballroom in Milwaukee they can be disconcerting.

All of that said, the audience members who have come are great. Lovely people who enjoy themselves. My whiny blog post is meant to encourage more people to attend, not to disparage those brave and hearty souls who already made the commitment.

I love you.

I hate me.


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Awww, you guys are still the best. I, too, am laid off and having trouble figuring out how I'm going to pay the mortgage, so anything fun that costs money is out of the question right now. I'm certain the low turnout has to do with the economy. Don't be sad, dummy!


I totally couldn't afford it, either. But money aint nothin' when the Michaels come to town. Can't wait to see you guys in Boston.

Cotie Richmond

Ughhh, I would have been willing to buy tickets for anyone who couldn't have afforded. I live in LA and said I would be ground crew anywhere!!!!
Once again, I am going to have to beg Stephanie to be on ground crew in LA so this doesn't happen here. It can't happen here.
I have 6 tickets but I suppose I will buy some more if I can't get on ground crew.
BTW, I don't think I have ever begged to do manual labor. So cheer up, it isn't so bad, your fans are dedicated!


Dallas!!!!!!!!!! Come to Dallas!!!!!!


Michael, the economy sucks. You, however, do not. I hope that your post is more dramatic than you actually feel. It's a sad thing for a genius to feel unappreciated.




It's too bad about the poor turnouts, but rest assured you are VERY loved!!! I am so excited to see you guys when you come to LA. I might have cried a little when I found out (or peed, whatever). The venue change threw me for a loop, the first venue was 3 doors down from my work and I was psyched, but I'll be at your show regardless. Can't wait!!!


Hey Michael
I feel for ya. I understand and I dont want you to give up! Thankyou for sharing your heart. You & Michael & Dave were a lot of fun at The Bell House! It was packed out!! The people that were standing wanted to get closer & closer to the stage where you guys were!! Remember? You guys are amazing!!! You made a lot of people laugh and women screaming their heads off!!! Though it may 'appear' that not to many people are showing up on your tour..It isn't because they dislke you. Its most likely because they don't know (not everyone uses twitter/internet) or they are facing financial hardship & cant afford to get a ticket perhaps. I say;
'Keep Beleiving'!! This may sound silly, but visulize in your beautiful mind that from now on every venue you are going to go to WILL be packed out!!! Just Beleive! It could happen! I know it can. There has been times when I have hit bad times and there was no way out, and I 'beleived' and it worked out! You could always change the ticket sales to buy 1/ get 1 free. Or give some away...that works too!
Try it!
i love you and i want you to love you to..


Oh ya..
see ya at The Los Angeles show!! Whoever is going, better get there early for the best seats.. this show is gonna be PACKED OUT!!!!


Thats a shame your getting small turnouts. I was at the show in Chicago, seemed like a big turnout. I was the dork with the glasses and blue hoodie at the front of the stage. You and Michael Showalter (and Jessie Klien) are hilarious. I've never laughed so hard at a comedy show ever. Best yet, after the show you and ''Show'' signed autographs after the show and we're really friendly. Thanks alot for the laughs. For the rest of the country who isn't showing up, they don't know what they're missing.


You are doomed to forever have a cult following. But hey, at least you've got a cult following...right?


Well, you played New York when I was in Chicago and you played Chicago while I was in New York. So I couldn't come.

Also, I'm not sure how much say you guys have over this, but Ticketmaster fees are fucking ridiculous, and if you could suggest using ANY other site to sell your tickets, that would be awesome. Your shows are over $25 for the ticket and then have over a 30% markup just because you have to buy them through Ticketmaster. That is bullshit. I have to think pretty hard about attending any shows when I have such a moral dilemma with Ticketmaster. I hate those bastards.


Well, I know your Minneapolis show was a little empty, but we made up for that with LOVE! Chin up, soon everyone will realize how truly awesome you guys are and then all world powers will submit to you. "Earth" will become "Planet Michael".


I was at the Springfield, MO show and agree with Ramona that part of the problem here was advertising. I just happened to be checking to see if there were any interesting events at that theater, because I've not lived here very long and wanted to check it out. I never saw an ad anywhere for the show. I don't agree with her comments on the content of the show though. It was hilarious... I didn't have a problem with what Sho was doing or with the lack of plan. Any annoyance I had that night was with some of the more ridiculous people in the audience (like the heckler).


I was at the show in Minneapolis last night, and I can tell you I know of at least 4-5 people who would have come if the tickets weren't so expensive. When you guys came to First Ave on the Stella tour about a year ago, tickets were half the price they were for this show and that place was packed. I guess you guys need Wain. haha.

I have been a huge fan ever since I stumbled across The State when I was 11, and I will always pay whatever it costs to see your guys' shows.

I also don't meant this as anything but constructive criticism: after the Stella show last year my face and stomach hurt from laughing so hard for so long, and that magic just wasn't there last night.


It's okay. Attendance will pick up because now you're famous. You were featured on Planet Dan!!! http://www.planetdan.net/blog/2009/10/autographed.htm


If you were coming to Seattle, I would show up and bring 10 of my closest friends.


You guys were incredible in Royal Oak. And my poster is proudly up on the wall staring back at me as I type. You should be playing fucking stadiums. Fuck everything.


Well, Ticketmaster does suck an astonishing amount of ass, but seeing as there's a recession on and nothing is selling out, another viable option for would-be audience members is to go to the theater at a time shortly before the show, walk up to the box office, purchase a ticket, and use that ticket to attend the show. I often employ this method, archaic though it is.

(If you go there and it's sold out you could go have a beer or something. It's not the end of the world.)


Come to Raleigh! I will bring 300 friends.


Also I will bring 300 crickets.


maybe youse needs a big bible-thumping revival tent. i hear that kind of thing sells well, around these parts. cue felonious laughter :poit:


I'm coming to your Oakland show with FOUR other people. One is invisible, but he's cool (and paid for).


You had a fairly good crowd in Springfield, Mo. We enjoyed having you there (even though you didn't list us on your official tour roster.)


I will be at the Philly show. I've had my ticket for a while, I'm super excited. I'm a devoted fan of you and Showalter!

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