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July 22, 2009

Please Support A Great Cause! Plus Poker!!! Plus NPR Celebs! PLUS NUDITY! (No nudity)

This is from the acclaimed writer/NPR favorite Sarah Vowell, who enlisted me to enter a poker tournament for charity. What she failed to tell me is that I am responsible for raising money. Then she sent out the following email, which I am reprinting without her permission, to let everybody know in no uncertain terms that her failure to tell me about the money-raising part is her fault, not mine:

Remember that 826 poker fundraiser this weekend you're sorry you said yes to?  Did we ever mention that one fundraising element is that one's friends and neighbors go online to donate money to you as players (which we then keep)?

If you would like to just forward your loved ones the following link, they can click on "support a player" and donate that way:  http://www.826nyc.org/poker/

If you don't feel like asking people you know for money would you let me?  I have no shame.  Just paste the missive below into an email or in some electronic thingamajigs (sans my email address, please).

Right now, each of you has the hundred bucks 826 will slip you to play with and another hundred I just donated to each of your accounts.  You are being out-earned by a grandmother and some Motorhead fans.

Thanks/sorry/see below,

Dear friends of Michael Ian Black, David Cross and Ira Glass:

Sarah Vowell of 826NYC here.  The aforementioned gentlemen will be participating in a poker tournament this Sunday to benefit the writing programs at 826NYC in Brooklyn.  (To learn more about our programs: www.826nyc.org.)  I know what you're thinking: What can I do to help?  You can go to the link below and donate to your player of choice that's what!  The more money each player raises, the more he has to bet with.  Is there anything nicer than helping a friend win?  Yep--helping New York City public school students with their homework.  These donations are tax deductible.  To contribute, go to http://www.826nyc.org/poker/ and click on "support a player."  Thanks.

Please don't let me get beaten by David Cross or Ira Glass. Both of them are already so much better at what they do than me that it would be great to hand them their asses in the arena of poker charity fund-raising. Plus the organization we're playing for is all into literacy and shit. How awesome is literacy and shit? TOTALLY AWESOME!

Won't you please contribute a little something for the children - the precious, precious children?


Michael Ian Black (very famous)


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If I donate, can I watch you play?

caveat emptor

I think I'll see if Ira Glass or David Cross are offering up real nudity before I make my choice as to who to back with my $5 bucks.


I was promised nudity. show me something naked, or no money. ok, still no money, because I make below the poverty level with a masters degree. but still, something naked, please.


What's next for you? Panhandling on the streets? If so, that's cool. I'll see what I can do even though I'm afraid of children and what they could one day do with the power of literacy. I mean they could read and write blogs with their tiny little eyes and fingers. That's just creepy.


I tell you what, I'll donate to you, if you donate to me.

Yeah I said it. I want to be the only Seattle 3-day Breast Cancer Walker who got a Very Famous Celebrity to donate.

Plus, I'll watch you're TV show tonight, FOR FREE (aren't I a good sales person?)

You know you want to save the boobies as much as I want to help the children....




And by "you're" I meant "your"

Damn. Now I NEED to donate to your literacy thing.


I'll see what I can do. I did get into some trouble with my husband for donating to your previous cause. I guess eating something more substantial than generic macaroni,sans cheese for a week is more important.
Hey,maybe if you donate to lupus.org that will change his(my) mind. We're all in this together!

Reen is quite poor

I'm sorry, Michael. I'd love to donate but my charge card is bursting at the seams. AND my husband got his paycheck cut because no one wants high-end wood flooring in their high-end new homes during these low-end times. AND I haven't had a proper raise in years because our Gov hates them there higher education facilities. Blah, blah, blah - but it's all true. Because I'm sincere like that.

ADHD MOMENT: But anyway, you look so fucking handsome in a suit!




litericy can lick my ballz


Saw the new episode tonight and loved it. Hilarious.


I totally would, except I have no job so I have to donate to my own gambling problem. You know, lotto. But when I win big...I'm blowing half of it on poker in Vegas...a dream of mine. But if I win it big in time, I'll throw $10 your way, that sounds fair.

Christina Melocik

Michael Ian Black - Loved your NPR interview. I just donated $25 to your thing. As a former teacher, their program sounds like it's pretty decent. The only thing I ask is that you not remove my shameless plug:


I've got my first "celebrity" interview coming up (it's the guy who won the 2nd season of The Pickup Artist.) Maybe you would like to be featured on it too, one day. Even if you don't have a man purse. We do a murse-matchup too, you see. Anyways, thanks and I hope my donation allowed my little 5 minutes of self-promotion. Okay, one more plug:


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