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June 27, 2009

Home Alone

Home for the weekend. Normally that's a good thing except my family is away until after the Fourth of July, which means I'm alone. Again, that's normally a good thing except that I've been alone a lot in New York working on the show, and so it would be nice to have human contact with people over whom I have dominion (my kids) and one over whom I claim dominion (my wife). Even the dog is at the kennel, so I am totally by myself. Tonight though I'm going to a birthday party for a friend who is turning forty. I remember when my mom turned forty somebody got her a penis cake. I was twelve at the time and very embarrassed, although not so embarrassed that I did not eat a slice. That single slice of cake is probably most responsible for why I turned out the way I did.

So we continue to edit our new TV show. All in all, I would say that it's going well. Comedy Central seems pleased with everything, except for one sketch that we have a big disagreement about. For a show like ours it's pretty good to only have one big disagreement. The way we've decided to resolve it is pistols at dawn, which seems a bit extreme to me but Showalter is very committed to the idea and I want to present a united front to the network.

So yeah, it's a slow weekend here at my Connecticut mansion. I gave the entire staff the weekend off, which was very generous of me especially considering the fact that I don't have a staff. But if I did, I totally would have given them the weekend off because that's the kind of rich guy I would be if I were rich.


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You already live a rich life, Michael. You are rich with family, friends, and good health.


I have to strongly disagree with what Nick said.


Poor cutie.

If you must have that dreaded human contact, why not live dangerously? In a pinch, you could always reply back to any one of your hungry 700,000 twitter followers. (Or your ever-so-neglected myspace and facebook friends.)

Unless you mean REAL human contact - 3D and all. Then you just need to go to your local bookstore. (Feel free to interpret "bookstore" however you wish).


You really could get alot done with the house to yourself, like putting up that damn birdhouse!

I imagine you'll be doing alot of
Master...piece Theater watching?


Hey, if I had known you were lonely I would have invited you to a little post-wedding hotel party in Bristol during the wee hours of Sunday morning. We could have sat there drinking and complaining about not getting laid. Also, I imagine you could have gotten a good laugh pushing me down some stairs or something.

That reminds me, you and I are only seperated by 3 degrees. Marino and Lo Truglio are friends with Sam Calagione (owner of Dogfish Head beer) who is a buddy of mine. Saddly, this does not remedy the fact that I am in no way cool.


You should re-enact the entire movie "Home Alone". If you want, I'd be willing to volunteer to be one of the "Wet Bandits". (Probably Joe Pesci's character) Then you could rig your entire house with booby traps (Haha! I just wrote "booby")and I and another guy (perhaps Daniel Stern...or even David Wain) could try breaking in to your giant mansion and get totally beat to shit in the process! Wouldn't that be fun? No? Ok...nevermind then.


How about a nice new blog about coming out to the west coast to promote your new show? Is that a possibility? I think it is about time we had you here on our turf.
I, for one, would welcome you with open arms (and pocketbook for any impromptu shows you feel like doing, if per chance you deem fit to let us in on) as I am sure so many others would as well.

Just saying, seeing as ever time I pop in here I see that you are Home Alone, something I prefer to not be reminded of.


Michael. Michael's family--good to see you all still here, by the way. Just saw an ad for "Michael and Michael" and it occurred to me that I had not dropped by in a while to tell you that your off-beat brand of self-effacing, yet smug humor is tedious. While I had come with every intention of telling you to drop dead, the tweet about hiding in your car while awaiting two more d-list deaths is pretty solid. Just please tell me you don't have some "wacky" roco starring McLovin and Anna Faris in the works. God help you if this is so.


See, Anderson wants you come out and visit, too!!!


Hi, so this has nothing to do with your post, but I can't find an e-mail or anything. Maybe I'm completely unintelligent, but.. just wanted to pop in and tell you how many times you've made me laugh. Quite a bunch! You're hilarious! Alright. It's off my shoulders now =D Have a lovely day, Mr. MIB.


I love it when you get all domestic. You have a heart and shit.

Cheers to you.

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