Week One Down
Just a quick check-in to let readers know I am alive and well. Our first week of production for “Michael & Michael Have Issues” is done, and based on what we’ve done this week, I think it’s safe to assume this show will be on television for, at a minimum, seven weeks. So I feel good about that. We’ve got five more weeks of shooting left, and we’ve already learned a lot. The main thing I’ve learned is that you shouldn’t make incredibly racist comments about the network executives when you’re wearing a wireless microphone. Those little buggers are pretty sensitive and do not come equipped with the “racist filter” that I assumed they had. My bad.
Another lesson from the first week: if you eat salad every day for lunch, you will spend much of the rest of the afternoon looking for discreet places to fart. Of course, with a large crew around, those places are tough to find. Also, just as the microphone does not have a “racist filter” nor does it have a “sputtering engine fart filter.” Unfortunate, but true. I assume network television shows can afford these filters. Not us.
The third lesson from the first week is that swordplay is pretty funny and surprisingly dangerous. Swords were apparently used in old-fashioned times for actually hurting and/or killing people and not just for sketch comedy. So when you run around with swords, even though it’s modern times, I’m told the swords don’t know the difference and are capable of putting out an eye. Did this happen on our set? It depends on how you define “put out.” The way I define it is that it means the eye cannot be reattached, so by my definition that did not happen on set this week.
Also, horses are not that gentle if you grab their dicks and pretend they’re furry tennis rackets. Lesson learned.
Mostly, though I’ve learned that if you give me enough caffeine I can be charming and funny even at dawn. Again, this depends on your definition of “charming and funny.” In this circumstance, I am defining it as being awake, which is admittedly setting the bar low, but at five in the morning, it’s impossible to set it much higher. All in all, a good first week and I look forward to our second.