Checkin' In

A quick check in. Michael Showalter and I are busy as little busy creatures writing our new TV show, “Michael & Michael Have Issues,” which is why I do not have time to blog more. When I get done from a day spent writing jokes, it’s very hard to come home and write more jokes.

Most nights after work I just need to relax, so I take out my latch hook rugs, turn on the Hallmark channel, and just “go to town.” No, I’m not confident that “go to town” is the appropriate expression to describe watching the Hallmark channel while latch hooking, but when you are as enthusiastic about both activities as I am, there is probably not a better one.

Also, I’m not eating very well. As regular readers know, I am an ardent vegan. Now that I’m working, though, the veganism has pretty much gone by the wayside, to be replaced by a diet of nothing but caramel and pig’s feet. (Not together, though, because that would be disgusting.) Let’s be honest, when you’re working hard, we’ve all been guilty of eating whatever’s quick and cheap: caramel and pig’s feet, right? A little caramel here, a little pig’s foot there. (Incidentally, when I say “a little pig’s foot,” I do not mean that the pig’s foot I eat is small. Far from it. I always get the jumbo or “foot long” pig’s feet.)

On the bright side, I do not see my wife very much. Now I love my family enormously, but I recently reread David McCullough’s biography of John Adams. He and his wife had a famous love affair documented through their many letters to each other written during their absences from one another. My wife and I have been enjoying a similar correspondence. The only difference is that we use today’s technology so that instead of handwriting long love letters to each other, she calls me on my cell phone, and instead of talking about our love for each other, she tells me how much it’s going to cost to fix the car. Very, very romantic.

For those of you wondering how the show is going: you’re just going to have to wait and watch. I will say this: if you enjoyed “Mind of Mencia,” you’re going to freak out when you see “Michael & Michael!” The shows are so similar it’s eerie. They’re so alike that some people have been asking us if we just took his scripts and reshot them. The answer to that question? Yes.

Comments

[Jenn]

MIB, I love you, but I hope you are joking about your showing being like Mind of Mencia. You are so much better than that shit!

[Chris]

Does the show tackle the issues that are on all of our minds in society today?

Like,

How to Approach the Sensitive Question: Anal?

[Jenn]

Reference: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1892552

[amanda]

ohhh! you SHOULD be vegan. that would be nice for your vegan fans. i would totally vote for you as 'the worlds sexiest vegetarian' for PETA next year. think about it....

[Reen]

Miss your blogs, but man, cannot WAIT to see your new show. You guys are brilliant brilliant BRILLIANT! Three times I say it. Once for each of you. I added David because he's always sort of with you in spirit. (Kind of like a demon thats trying to posess you).

We are all in for a treat. No worries Jenn, the show will be the Anti Mencia.

And remember, when it comes to love - absence makes the heart grow fonder. (It also makes the genitals wander! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!)

Oh oh OH! In other good news: word around town is The State is actually going to be released July 14th!!!!! ??????? !!!!!! ??????? !!!!!

[scott]

It's always nice to see a vague reference to the Carlos Mencia/Joe Rogan fued. But especially when paired with a Hallmark Channel reference.

[sarah]

love the John Adams miniseries reference. it was how me & my dad spent our xmas vacation.

[Anonymous]

Love "Michael & Michael Have Issues"! You guys are the funniest "Chewin' the Fat" reimagination (ripoff) show on TV. Hope your impending divorce brings you as much joy as the accolades that come with being such a smug prick.

Too bad you won't be posting as much content for your "fans". I'm sure they're all devastated.

[DS3M]

Hey MIB, love the hilarious tweets on the twatter, I mean twitter thing; full blogs are better than micro blogs, true, but the randomness and good shit you push through the 140 characters...
Consistent Smiles

And also, to the chowderheads who are asking about Mencia...
Umm, this is a blog by a comedian. A funny Comedian.

Mencia is a talentless sponge, who goes around absorbing others jokes, styles, and when he squeezes it out?
Mind of Mencia was garbage.
His Standup is garbage.

MIB has more talent at his daily morning piss than mencia has in the sum of his garbage career.

Ok, rant over, had to vent.

VIVA CARLIN!

[Heidi]

Love it! Carlos Mencia, has been through trials and tribulations. The Michael & Michael, show will bring in a new chapter of hilarious, funny,and the kind of entertaining I'd like to see. Looking forward to the new production!

[Reen]

"Anonymous" can suck my dick.

[Red]

You could always text your wife, you know. Save time by simply typing one of those clever "number 8, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, capital D" pictures. Chicks dig that.

[Robin]

Didn't "Mind of Mencia" premiere the same night as "Stella?"

[Jiminez]

"MIB, I love you, but I hope you are joking about your showing being like Mind of Mencia. You are so much better than that shit!"

Are you fucking retarded?

[macntrees]

hahahaha i agree with jiminez.

that was a really good mind of mencia joke, michael.

[Anonymous]

You know 'Reen', if I'm sucking your dick, and I know you've been sucking M.I.B.'s dick for months, and if M.I.B. agrees to sucking my dick, all at the same time...

I think you call that an Alabama Hat Trick. Anyone confirm that?

[Reen]

Whatever, Anonymous...you're just making shit up again.

THIS is the only Alabama trick *I* have mastered:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Alabama%20Hogsucker

[Camille]

Renee hasn't been sucking him. Know how I know? Because she's been suckin' mine!

[Jenny]

RE: Reen sucking Camille's dick--And I've been watching them, so I can verify.

MIB-I'm so excited that to hear about M&MHI! Or, M&M Hi, which can be used in lots of intesting ways. Keep up the good work!

Also, random fact--I'm descended from John Adams.

[Reen]

Jenny - That's a relative you can be proud of. My relative is Alexander Graham Bell. He's not as cool as a President who writes love letters, but definitely much more important to God than I am.

Cammie - You know how I feel about you and your peanut butter covered dick.

[Jaime]

Wow. All this talk of dick sucking (from like a week ago because I am super tardy) is making me hungry! Camille has a fabulous shlong. Yuuuuummmy!

[Kamagra]

That's perfect that people writting their own tv show that's perfect because we can get other skills we didn't know actually I'd like to get my own tv show too.

[Metro Etherrnet]

It is very interesting topic you've written here..The truth I'm not related to this, but I think is a good opportunity to learn more about it… And as well talk about a different topic to which I used to talk with others..