Time's Up!
Well, the "Millionth Viewer Contest" has come to end. What a smashing success it turned out to be. All told, there were 21,046 submissions (give or take). Now that the contest has concluded it's time for me to turn to the all-important work of determining a winner. The task won't be easy for a few reasons. First and foremost because there were so many compelling and innovative entries. But even more than that, because I'm not in the mood to go through them all. That fact alone is really going to slow down the process. Of course I'm kidding (the part about there being so many compelling and innovative entries).
I'm hoping to have the winning entry up and posted tomorrow. This is really exciting. I might do this every time I hit a new million views. Even better, I might start doing it every thousand. While that would certainly cut down on the novelty factor, it would be more than offset by the "this is totally annoying" factor, which would increase dramatically. But future plans are for a future time. Right now I am focusing a hundred percent of my energy on concluding this exciting contest. As I write this, my wife is making some orecchiette, which is a kind of pasta that I don't particularly like. Will there be leftovers? There very well might be. Will you, my lucky millionth visitor, receive them, congealed, in the mail? Stay tuned.
you better get a five hour energy shot or something. sounds like you are going to be up reading for awhile.
Posted by: Mitchell Klooster | February 17, 2009 at 06:11 PM
... so nervous... gotta pop a couple viagras
Posted by: z | February 17, 2009 at 06:20 PM
orecchiette is OK with olive oil, breadcrumbs toasted, and panchetta. giada knows.
Posted by: Chris | February 17, 2009 at 06:30 PM
Luckily I'm in New England as well, so it would arrive still warm... So I can then stick it in the refrigerator, forget about it, then throw it away, thus ending its journey at a landfill of a small New Hampshire town.
It would be romantic.
Posted by: Amanda | February 17, 2009 at 06:48 PM
Luckily I'm in New England as well, so it would arrive still warm... So I can then stick it in the refrigerator, forget about it, then throw it away, thus ending its journey at a landfill of a small New Hampshire town.
It would be romantic.
Posted by: Amanda | February 17, 2009 at 06:49 PM
Choose wisely. May the Force be with you.
Posted by: Susanna | February 17, 2009 at 07:45 PM
i wish i would have read "in 10 words or less" the first time
Posted by: Sean M | February 17, 2009 at 07:51 PM
Oh if I don't win I'll just kill myself.
Posted by: Blake | February 17, 2009 at 08:10 PM
It's a good thing I know my entry sucked.
Now I won't be dissapointed.
That's a lie.
I would die inside if I didn't win.
I may die on the outside too, just to warn you.
Posted by: Lauren | February 17, 2009 at 08:56 PM
I'll just take that snazzy bow.
Posted by: Camille | February 17, 2009 at 10:58 PM
I hope you at least read my entry, comic gold.
Posted by: Joel Yeomans | February 17, 2009 at 11:40 PM
I hate your contest and I wish I never participated! But I hope I win because I really want to read your book.
Posted by: jamie | February 17, 2009 at 11:51 PM
This contest was 21,046 reasons why you are a professional funny person, and everyone else is not.
Posted by: me again | February 18, 2009 at 02:13 AM
jamie, why don't you just pick up a copy of the book?
Posted by: Mitchell Klooster | February 18, 2009 at 02:20 AM
jamie, why do you own Wikipedia? :)
Good luck Michael! Seriously, that was a lot of comments, and a lot of fun. It was a prize in itself, thus I already feel like a winner.
That said, rice-sock-orechiblablah casserole is my favorite. Just so you know.
Posted by: Jaime | February 18, 2009 at 04:07 AM
I can't wait to claim my prize.
Posted by: Myooze | February 18, 2009 at 04:28 AM
Hello friends!
i don't know the answers to any of your questions
Posted by: jamie | February 18, 2009 at 04:38 AM
If the prize had been a makeout party with you, Wain and Sho, I'd probably have put in some effort.
Good luck with choosing.
Posted by: Tee | February 18, 2009 at 06:59 AM
Not only would future contests allow you to discard leftovers from the fridge, but think about what winners could receive once you hit the bathroom cabinets.
I'm imagining expired Bayer aspirin, crumbled Alka Seltzer tablets, half used bottles of Pepto Bismol...oh, please please please.
Posted by: Reen | February 18, 2009 at 11:20 AM
If I don't win, I'm going to give you the evil eye. And I'm referring to my evil "brown eye". And when I'm referring to my evil "brown eye", I'm actually referring to my "asshole". And when I'm referring to my "asshole", I'm actually referring to the first season of "The Facts of Life" DVD collection. Speaking of DVD collections, any word on those DVDs of The State yet? HA! ...Oh Michael, I'm only kidding. I didn't even watch The State. I was too busy watching The Facts of Life...aka my asshole.
Posted by: Chris | February 18, 2009 at 12:14 PM
If I don't win, I'm going to give you the evil eye. And I'm referring to my evil "brown eye". And when I'm referring to my evil "brown eye", I'm actually referring to my "asshole". And when I'm referring to my "asshole", I'm actually referring to the first season of "The Facts of Life" DVD collection. Speaking of DVD collections, any word on those DVDs of The State yet? HA! ...Oh Michael, I'm only kidding. I didn't even watch The State. I was too busy watching The Facts of Life...aka my asshole.
Posted by: Chris | February 18, 2009 at 12:18 PM