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« It's War on LeVar | Main | LeWar Rages On! »

February 21, 2009

It's LeWar!

The Visored One has responded:

LeVar Burton@michaelianblack has declared a Twitter War on me. It may be necessary to go Kunta on his ass!

I did not know that LeVar played Kunta Kinta in "Roots." Am I impressed? I am.

                         (LeVar Burton before the robot eyes.)

However, my respect for LeVar Burton only increases my bloodlust since respecting your enemy makes his ultimate vanquishing all the sweeter. Since the stakes have been raised, let me re-raise sir: if you are going to go Kunta Kinta on my ass, I am going to go Johnny Blue Jeans on yours.

I hope you enjoy the smell of pleather, sir, because you are about to get a noseful.

Furthermore, I am hereby appointing Wil Wheaton as my second-in-command. Whether he wants the assignment or not, in times of war, we do not shirk from our duty. We rise to it. If the Klingons taught us nothing else, they surely taught us that.

I'm looking for soldiers. Set phasers to kill, gentlemen, and let loose the dogs of LeWar.


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Dude. I love Reel Big Fish.

And I wonder if there's ever been a Twitter war before. It's kind of a shame I can't be apart of your army. Keep us up to date over here in blog land.


Isn't there already enough conflict in the world? I think you two should just get along.


It doesn't have to go down like the movie "300". With today's technology, we could just send out a Twitter nuke and destoy them in an instant. We just need someone to fork over a picture of LeVar that would embarrass LeVar forever and push him into leading the life of a hermit. We don't have to play this like Spartans at all. Also, I think an interesting fact about the Spartans is that they often engaged in gay sex with one another in order to boost fighting spirit within the army. So while I would accept a position as a "soldier", I don't think a position as a "300" type soldier is right for me. Can I be a Universal Soldier instead? Dolph Lundgren/Jean-Claude Van Damme style. That would be really cool actually.


Sedaris, Tucker Max, and now LeVar Burton. One of these days all those German barmaids will get tired of protecting your ass, then what?

So now we've come to Kunta Kinte vs Johnny Bluejeans. Even if he manages to rival your smooth moves, will he meet his demise when confronted with the power of the mighty pompadour?

I can help, but a fighter I can never be. Instead, I shall carry a tray, parade up and down the bleachers, and ask the audience (ever so sweetly) if they want: "Cigars? Cigarettes?".

I will also perform oral sex on anyone with a crisp 20.00 and without crabs.


Wesley will Crush her.

(Her=LeVar. Above statement=lame pun).


(p.s. You in Viva Variety made me fall for the man in Black comedy stylings. Because, you had no shame. You are unashamedly silly. Waccawaccawacca. I love that. Go Johnny!)

Dark Side Steve

I don't know, Michael. If LeVar calls on Brent Spiner [http://twitter.com/brentspiner ] for help, we're screwed. Have you ever seen him play Lore, or Dr. Soong? Or a sorta psycho dude on Law & Order?

It'd be Johnny BlueJeans versus two well-loved STNG performers with an entire army of slavering, overly-committed fandom behind them.

Come to think of it, those are awesome odds. Let's DO IT.


"Michael Ian Beck"??? Man, that made me chuckle!! I guess they didn't have VH1 in space.

My feelings on war, which I learned from watching The Wire: No one wins. One side just loses more slowly.

Having said that, I think Wil is going to make a GREAT second-in-command.

Anna B

I actually am a big Levar Burton fan! How exciting. I guess this is a sign for me to start following celeb Twitters, ugh!


Mr Huff, if you don't know by now that Michael also has "an entire army of slavering, overly-committed fandom behind" him, then dude, you're in the wrong job.

But don't bring Brent into it; Data and Johnny Bluejeans would be my all time (although admittedly very niche), OTP.


It's likely that someone out there is holding onto an old audio/video of LeVar going postal on a gaffer at Reading Rainbow.If not,then there has to at least be a pic of him getting out of a limo sans underwears. I'll get on it.


Cammie, that was funny!

Ya'll are nuts! :-D


Gotta go with LeVar. Sorry, Michael.


I've got your back. Hooah!

Ryles, if you read this, phone home. Or text home. Whatever. Contact us somehow.
-Salad Kids


As I look at this, I'm thinking you coulda filled Hugh Jackman's shoes in that montage last night. Perhaps next year is your year....
unless you piss off LeVar Burton

sherisaid AKA Colonel Grabbyass

In my defense, I am an overemployed blogger. But I always have time for some good-natured warmongering.

sherisaid AKA Colonel Grabbyass

OH HO! and LeVar returns fire:

@levarburton This just in: The guy wearing the READING RAINBOW on The Price Is Right has won both Showcases...! Eat your heart out @michaelianblack.


Aren't you old enough to know Levar played Kunta?


Quick question, but it didn't bother you that Will Wheaton has more followers than you and Burton combined x 3. I like Will Wheaton plenty but let me remind you he was neither hosted Reading Rainbow or portrayed Johnny Bluejeans.

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Interesting post, great comments. My feelings on war, which I learned from watching The Wire: No one wins. One side just loses more slowly.

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I'm not touching that one... But, in the spirit of the (baseball) season, I'd offer the following instead. Empirical researchers are taught early on to beware of selection bias -- drawing incorrect inferences from data which are nonrandomly sampled from a population. (An example would be concluding that early humans lived predominantly in caves, on the basis of finding paintings, remains of fire pits, and so forth there; because such artifacts are more likely to survive in caves than elsewhere, the available archaeological data are subject to selection bias). We also learn that there are ways of dealing with such data, including the class of "selection models" first developed by James Heckman.*

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Nobody know who will win and who will loose this war.

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Mr Huff, if you don't know by now that Michael also has "an entire army of slavering, overly-committed fandom behind" him, then dude, you're in the wrong job.

But don't bring Brent into it; Data and Johnny Bluejeans would be my all time (although admittedly very niche), OTP.

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