Here Is Your Winner
His name is Justin, and here's what I can tell him about from this picture:
First of all, this is a guy who knows how to take a picture. A lot of people would have just held up the camera at arm's length and snapped a photo or maybe cropped an ex-girlfriend out of a photo he had somewhere on his computer. Not Justin. He took the time to compose a celebratory shot and then had a friend or co-worker snap the photo. And judging by the image quality, this wasn't a one-click deal. I'm guessing they took several stabs at this photo before nailing it. And nail it they did. Every detail is perfect.
Consider the setting. A cubicle. The humblest of work environments. A workspace that says, "I'm going nowhere." The low ceiling, the drab lighting, the khaki pants, the mysterious object bulging in his front pant pocket. All of it adds up to a perfectly captured image of entry-level desperation and erectile dysfunction or perhaps erectile over-function.
We also learn a lot about Justin the man. When you add up the empty water bottles, the empty bottle of sports drink, the thermos, and the blue plastic cup, we learn that Justin is a man who likes to stay hydrated. That's good! No wonder his entry was so fresh; because he himself has plenty of liquid coursing through his veins.
We know that Justin is not married because he does not wear a ring. We know he does not have a girlfriend because of the lack of photos and because of the tie he chose to wear. We know that Justin is not a man given to frivolity. How? Consider his haircut. Somebody who was into superficial nonsense would have said to the barber, "Give me a haircut where the hairline does not angle at an alarming rate across my forehead." Not Justin. He doesn't care about that stuff. Because he's an artist.
How do I know he's an artist? Because he has an artist's soul. Not only did he write the winning entry to my contest, but look at his screen saver - a luminescent fantasyland cityscape. Only somebody who does not care if anybody thinks he's gay would have that as their screen saver. And that kind of person is called an "artist." Or a shaman. But Justin doesn't look like a shaman. No friends, Justin looks like a winner.