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« Hey Facebook, What the Fuck? | Main | Did Santa Come??? »

December 19, 2008

Facebook, I Thank You and Would Love to Hereby Remove You From My “You Dirty Motherfucker” List Except for the Fact That I Can’t

After bitching about Facebook in my previous entry for arbitrarily disabling my account, I want to congratulate Mr. Zuckerberg and company for quickly restoring said account. All it took was a single email and the aforementioned blog posting, which has now spread across the internet like a particularly itchy case of pink eye.

Whether it was the email or the blog posting that got the job done, I do not know. What I do know is that Facebook has terrific customer service and deserves a pat on the back. Now I can go back to not being able to add more friends to my account because of your stupid fucking 5,000 friend limit.

Which begs the question: what the fuck is wrong with you, Facebook?

Do you have any idea how unpopular I was in high school? VERY UNPOPULAR!!! Now, for the first time in my life, people want to actually befriend me, and I am forced to ignore them. These are requests from people, good American people, who have taken the time to look me up on your site and ask for a simple gesture of affection. A lot of these people are dying. A lot of them are orphans. And quite a few are dying orphans with adorable puppies.

What am I supposed to say to these people? That Facebook won’t let me be your friend? Are you so rigid that you would have these puppy-loving orphans drop dead without ever knowing the golden love of a basic cable comedian?

Facebook, you’re better than that. Remember Friendster? They hated orphans and puppies, and look what happened to them. Don't be like Friendster. Rescind your stupid fucking friend rule. But don't do it for me, Facebook. Do it for the children.

Or if not for the children, then do it for me.

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karyrogers

I'm a little late on this, but ask facebook to turn your account into a fan page or whatever they call them. Many well-known people have run into the 5,000 friend limit and facebook has converted their account for them.

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