This Is My Legacy
As regular readers to my blog know, I have been paying a lot of attention to the presidential election. As such, I have found myself watching a lot of news channels that I don’t normally pay attention to unless a celebrity is running from the law. One of the shows I have enjoyed a lot is “Anderson Cooper 360.” Each night, AC has in-depth coverage of the day’s political events featuring some of my favorite political commentators.
Every time I watch, though, I find myself changing the name “Anderson Cooper” to “Anderson Pooper.” There will no doubt be those among you who do not think that the name Anderson Pooper is funny. Moreover, there will probably be those among who think that I myself don’t find it funny, either, except ironically. But the truth is, I think it’s VERY funny.
Now, I’m sure that Anderson has heard this joke before. After all, it’s incredibly obvious. But I want to make the following point: while I’m confident that I’m not the first person to think of this, I have never heard it before. Therefore, it’s entirely possible that I WAS the first, and if I was, I deserve a medal. Because the name Anderson Pooper is among the top parody news names ever.
I’ll give you some of the others:
• Walter Cranktight
• Tom Blowcraw
• Peter Smellings
And of course:
• Dan Blather
As you can see, “Anderson Pooper” is as good, OR BETTER, than these names. Now, maybe I should display some false modesty here, but the truth is, you deserve better than the parody news names of the past. For too long you’ve put up with the mediocre, the humdrum, the downright blah. Walter Cranktight had his time, but that time is over. From now on, when people want a hilarious fake news name, you’ve got a choice. And when it’s time to make that choice, I hope you’ll choose Anderson Pooper.
The greatest parody news name in history.