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October 21, 2008

Some Things You Could Put In A Wheelbarrow/Some Things You Couldn't Put In A Wheelbarrow

Could: Dirt
Couldn't: Two Jennifer Love Hewitts

Could: Wood chips
Couldn't: The same wheelbarrow

Could: Grass trimmings
Couldn't: The swimming pool from my camp

Could: Scrap lumber
Couldn't: Yourself if you also needed to push the wheelbarrow.

Could: Gravel
Couldn't: All the cinnamon

Could: Bricks
Couldn't: A real dragon!

Could: Sand
Couldn't: A teeny-tiny fart made by a teeny-tiny caterpillar riding a teeny-tiny bicycle

Could: Firewood
Couldn't: Some kind of pudding that hasn't been invented yet. (Once it's been invented it is no longer a kind of pudding that hasn't been invented yet.)

Could: Other wood chips
Couldn't: Outer space

Could: Roof tiles
Couldn't: The ineffable soul of Jim Henson

Could: Bags of concrete mix
Couldn't: My love for all of you!

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Comments

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Dwight Schrute

I'm first! Fuh-Q

ChloeJ82

This might be the greatest thing I have ever, ever read.

Camille

Have you been knocking back the Zima again?

You could fit two baby Jennifer Love Hewitts in a wheelbarrow.

Mark Garcia

Many of these depend on the make and model of the wheelbarrow.

Jo

Aw. We love you too.

Lindsay

I love you. And your wife. Your last blog had me in hysterics over her "go fuck already" response to the couple attempting to intellectually copulate ... blast you Black family, you're all too perfect and witty!

Aria W

We loveeee you too! :)

Susanna

Great! Now you've got me all choked up.

Jenny

hahaha! "all the cinnamon."

aww, michael and us, sittin' in a tree. k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Satur9

Aww, you're so sweet. We love you, too!

Someone's been doing some yardwork today, it seems.

AmbroseKalifornia

You could get two Jennifer Love Hewitt's in there if you ran 'em through a woodchipper first.

I hate yard work.

Reptar

You fail to account for the possibility that there is more than one Jennifer Love Hewitt in the world.

Or the future possibility that I will conceive a child with a Cambodian hooker whose last name is legally changed to Hewitt and name the child Jennifer Love.

Bailey

Boy, I don't know where you grew up but around here we can push and ride a wheelbarrow at the same time. That may sound dirty and it is.

Chad

Hahahaha, this is the problem I encounter every time I want to treat myself to a night on the town riding around in my wheelbarrow - I cannot both push the wheelbarrow and ride in it at the same time. As much as I would like to.

And is it me, or is "wheelbarrow" one of those words that makes less and less sense the more you say it?

Amir

I love to soak up your love like a paper towel soaks up spilt milk, but yet it does nothing for the stickiness.

Jaime

"A teeny-tiny fart made by a teeny-tiny caterpillar riding a teeny-tiny bicycle" Haha! Delightful.

What a smooth operator you are Michael -- awwwww :) I swear, you, better than Ghandi, that's right! Love you buddy!

Could: Tree trimmings
Couldn't: All the hugs

Ryalye

Oh Bails of HEY! I've made such an impact on you. Sexy kinda. Which by pure coincidence, is how I view wheelbarrows and their usefulness. What? Shhhhh.

cat

all the cinnamon??

Bobo

Could: Five pounds of grilled chicken anuses on a stick purchased from a street vender in Kuala Lumpur.

Couldn't: All the seaman I've ejaculated in my lifetime.

Could: Ten electrons, 14 protons and 27 nuetrons.

Couldn't: Rosey O'Donnell's flatulance following a night of binging on Schlitz malt liquor, oameal cookies and Campbell's Chunky Steak and Potato soup.

Could: The severed heads (and feet) of my vanquished foes.

Couldn't: The severed heads (and feet) of the cast of "Rent".

me again

You do cute very well. This would work in your children's book, if you replaces J.Love with the Jonas Brothers or something.

All the Cinnamon,

Megan

Holly

Why is it that when you blog about fitting things into a wheelbarrow it is funny as hell and when BoBo puts something out there it scares me?

Megan

As a kindergarten teacher I could really appreciate this post. I'm assuming you had your children help you write this? "A real dragon, all the cinnamon." Only a five-year-old could come up with something as brillant as this.

robin

aww. you really really luvs us!!

smooches, you ol' wheelbarrow pusher!

could: benson hedges
couldn't: showalter

Tee

This blog is the literary equivalent of being rubbed under the chin by the wet, fuzzy nose of a very young kitty who loves you like your it's mum...

*sigh*

Just lovely.

Brendan

Apparently some people didnt understand that you can't put two J.L.H.'s in a wheelbarrow because there aren't two J.L.H's.

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