My Gas Grill

As autumn approaches, I think it’s worth spending a few moments reminiscing about what I learned this past summer regarding my new gas grill. For years I resisted purchasing a gas grill, believing that charcoal was the only true grilling experience. I was wrong. Yes, charcoal gives you that smoky taste and helpful carcinogens, but propane is also terrific and considerably easier. Not to mention the fun that can be had with highly pressurized gas. This summer was my first with the grill and so it was largely a season of trial and error. Here’s what I learned:

Some Foods I Like Grilled

Hamburgers
Hot Dogs
Steak
Salmon
Corn on the Cob

Some Foods I Don’t Like Grilled

Sushi
Cereal (with milk)
Ambrosia Salad
Wonton Soup
Other Soups

Another thing I learned – just because you grilled food doesn’t make it vegan. This knowledge forces me to radically reconsider my understanding of the word “vegan.” I was under the impression that it meant you can’t eat meat unless it’s been grilled because grilling is more humane. Apparently not. After creating what I thought was a fantastic vegan “Midnight Summer Solstice Madness Feast” of burgers and sausage for all my hippie vegan friends, I was incredibly embarrassed to learn otherwise. Naturally they thought the sandwiches were tofu. No. The upshot? If you’ve ever seen a bunch of really pissed off hippie vegans, you know exactly how funny that scene was. Very.

Also, don’t tease the dog by throwing her tennis ball onto a lit grill. The dog will not hesitate to fetch. 

 

                                 (My Gas Grill)

Comments

[Amber]

OH MY GOD! I'M FIRST!
It doesn't feel nearly as good as I thought it would.

[Preston]

Sloppy seconds! And don't lie, Amber.

[Aria W]

"Also, don’t tease the dog by throwing her tennis ball onto a lit grill. The dog will not hesitate to fetch. "

I just laughed far more than I expected to due to that comment. Wonderful :P

[dzon]

You know, Michael, I don't believe that at all. Are you trying to be funny or something?

[Susanna]

I bet grilled dog tastes like chicken...

[Camille]

I don't know what kind of roadkill you have in CT, but thems good eatin'.
Also, sliced portobello mushrooms in teriyaki marinade.

[Reen]

Gas grilling? Could you GET any more New Englandy?

[Zane]

How about a photo of you in a Kiss The Cook apron?

[Jim]

Those smarmy vegans need a little comeuppance every once in a while. I'm with you on the gas thing too. Maybe if they could shove charcoal in a tank we could have the best of both worlds.

[me again]

I would just like to remind everyone that the Large Hadron Collider starts tomorrow, so if we all die.....ummm it's been fun?

[Rich]

The whole thing hit me harder than a potato sack. Seriously the smiles and laughs here were intense. I've been away from the blog since your quality book came out.

[Nick]

Oh Michael Ian Black... I don't know if you knew this, but you are indeed the shit.

[Larry Leonardo]

oh, i really care about your gas grill, it's so funny that you would say you wouldn't grill sushi, LOL michael ian black, YOU NIGGER

[yoyomama]

uhh. I grill shit all the time. Does that mean I'm funny? no. also, i dont grill shit all the time, it comes out of my butthole after I eat asian food. out from my colon and tummy. it smells like food too, but not what i ate to make it.

[Camille]

Well Larry and yoyo, tell us how you REALLY feel!ROFLMAO!!!!!

[Anti-Iffy]

http://www.crystalinks.com/summersolstice.html

[Jesus]

You know nothing about grills you satanist faggot. I'm so glad you lost your roller thing or whatever, you deserve nothing ever. God shits on you.