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September 24, 2008

My Evening With "Little Britain"

Andy_Lou_l-poster-little-britain Spent the evening interviewing Matt Lucas and David Walliams AKA "Little Britain." For those of you who don't know, Little Britain is a wildly popular sketch comedy show in the UK. Matt and David are the writer/stars. Now HBO has brought the show over here, entitled "Little Britain USA." I got a call last Friday asking if I'd be interested in moderating a discussion with them at the Apple Store in SoHo. I have no idea what Apple has to do with anything, but I figured maybe I would get a free iPod for my trouble. (I did not.) I arrived punctually at the Apple store, where I met Matt and David, who had just come back from taping Conan. I've been doing television in this country for fifteen years and have never been invited on Conan. They've been here twenty minutes and have already done it. We commented on how tall Conan is (My guess was 10' 3", Matt's guess 5' 6". Unfortunately there's no way to find out). Then I met David, who also had a small part in "Run Fat Boy Run," which he mentioned to me. I knew that already but didn't want to presume that he would know that I wrote the film. He did, though, because British people know things like that. They're unfailingly polite, so when you write a film that they are in, they tend to know about it. Why I was invited to moderate this thing at all is something of a mystery to me. I suspect it was because I live in New York and use Apple products. It might also have something to do with the fact that nobody else was available. Anyway, after showing some clips of their new show, I came out and introduced the boys. Matt wasted no time in insulting me by saying something like "When I look at you I feel like you should be talking about Tiffany or other things from the 80's." I responded by saying "When I look at you I feel like you should be illuminating a lightbulb with your mouth." It didn't get a laugh. Too mean perhaps, even though he really does look like Uncle Fester. The crowd was not really on my tip. I asked a bunch of pertinent questions about them and their careers and did not try to be funny at all, thinking that that was their job, not mine and that if I tried too hard to be funny everybody would think "Why's he trying to be funny? He's not the one with a very successful British import television show." We took some questions from the audience (nobody asked me anything, which I expected but still...) and then everybody applauded and that was that. Backstage everybody said it was "hilarious," which I found pretty strange because I didn't say one funny thing the entire night. Did they want me to be funny and I let them down? I hope not. I thought my job was to help them be funny, which they were. And charming. If I was expected to be funny, I utterly failed. I hate when interviewers try to be funny when they are interviewing me so I didn't want to make the same mistake. Ah well. As they were leaving I gave them both copies of my book, which I could tell neither of them wanted. But I figured I've got a box of them at home, I've got to do something with them. So it was a pretty good evening, but then I read that David Walliams lives in Noel Gallagher's old house, which means he's probably really rich, so then I felt bad about myself all over again.

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Preston

Firsties!

Amber

Fuck you, Preston!

AmbroseKalifornia

Ah, fuck 'em, you're better looking than both of 'em put together.

AmbroseKalifornia

Oh my god, I almost said that.

Susanna

They probably asked you to do this because of the stellar job you did hosting Reality Bites Back (that's my story and I'm stickin' to it). Anyway, I'm sure you were delightful and will be asked back to the Apple Store again for some event (even if it may just be for them to give you a new ipod) which is still totally worth it)).

Reptar

I was going to drop my daily hate, but it looks like MIB already did it for me. Nothing like a little self-deprecation. So all I'll add to what is already written is that he is fat (note with an 'f' and not a 'ph') and thought "The Dark Knight" was just OKAY.

Now where the fuck is my haiku?

Bailey

Who's Tiffany from the 80's? And who's Noel Gallagher?

Zane

Well, for what little it is worth, I would have loved to see you interviewing them and I would have laughed at the Uncle Fester reference. And I would have asked you a question about when your new show with Michael Sho is going to be on. And probably bought you an iPod.

I went to one of the tapings of their show a few months ago, and although I have really enjoyed watching Little Britain for years now, I remember thinking at the time that I would much prefer to be watching you tape a show.
I got quite bored and snuck away after about an hour.
I would never sneak away from anything you were doing.
So... you've got that going for you. Lucky you.
Lucky smart clever handsome you.

Lou D

The State was way funnier than anything Little Britain has done. You are far superior to them. Don't sweat it!

And Reptar, buddy - you're never going to get that haiku. Accept it before it destroys you.

Ethereal Zoe

This isn't really relevant to the topic, but I have ridiculously huge crush on David Walliams and I just want to pinch Matt Lucas' cheeks and kiss the tip of his nose. But will I ever get that chance? Will I?

Computer says no.

Reen

HAHA - Uncle Fester! NIIIIICE comeback.

The reason you were chosen is evident to everyone. It's due to your reputation, or "brand":
"Witty, smart, slightly offbeat, handsome comedian.."

(Plus they seriously needed to sex that set up).

Tee

Yes, us Brits ARE unfailingly polite.

It's rarely reciprocated, unfortunately.

David Walliams + Apple Store = Boner.

SeanF

I think you were invited to moderate so that you could kill them before they try to take back the US of A as a British colony. Fuck colonization.

Reptar

Lou D, I'll get that haiku. Oh, you can put your dollar on that, buddy boy - not a term of endearment, just a general term I use for everyone I have never met, including Sarah Palin.

By not getting the haiku yet, I'm just proving that MIB is a terrorist. Because he's not giving in to the demands of an e-terrorist, that must make HIM a terrorist because the only logical reason not to write my goddamn haiku is that one terrorist would never give in to the demands of another terrorist lest he be mocked and derided amongst their mutual terrorist friends who get together every Thursday to order pizza, watch "House, M.D" and engage in general political debate about oil politics. It's sort of the transitive property of terrorism.

Or he's illiterate. I'm working on that theory too. I have a feeling this site is just ghost-written by some combination of David Sedaris, Tucker Max, R.L. Stine and Carlos Mencia.

Jim

Per the Conan dilemma: Get a sap and knock him unconscious when he's not looking (you may need a step stool for this.) Then get out your tape measure. Unfortunately this would be for his length since he would be unconscious but I'm sure there's a conversion table somewhere for height.

Jaime

Aw Michael. Can I get this straight a second: "Backstage everybody said it was 'hilarious,' which I found pretty strange because [you think you] didn't say one funny thing the entire night," and this makes you feel bad somehow. Ok. Soooooo, people tell you you're funny, showing you just can't help but be awesome, even when you are trying NOT to be awesome, and this makes you feel bad. Am I getting this right?

I'm sure they called on you because you are great at being smart and amusing at the same time, even without jokes, even when you ain't trying. Of course, I wasn't there, so maybe it sucked, but you are you, so this equals an "I don't think so" thought bubble. You are irrepressably amusing. Even when Handler was uncomfortable and her pro-Handler audience might have been too, an objective person with a funny bone watching would've been cracking up like me. So, polite or not, I say if someone said you were hilarious (note: not "great," not "funny," but "hilarious"), I believe it. You should too tiger.

R

In response to:
Matt wasted no time in insulting me by saying something like "When I look at you I feel like you should be talking about Tiffany or other things from the 80's." I responded by saying "When I look at you I feel like you should be illuminating a lightbulb with your mouth."
**********

I think that insult started when you first made a very distinct comment"

You are "Nothing" in America.. I mean you are Nobody.."

I noticed everyone got all quiet and look at each other after you made that comment. But then again, i think its an actual defense of Matt back fire at ya after that comment.

--- I cant believe you just said that -- Vicky Pollard.

From,

One of the audience..

some person

Reptar? Reptarded.
Stop whining for a haiku.
You are not special.

Reptar

Some person,

The truth is in the reptardation. I fear much goes over your head, which makes me wonder how you ended up here.

Reptar

...but I do appreciate your attempt at haiku. Sorry for taking up two consecutive posts, website thing, I forgot where I left off.

Camille

I think they chose you because you are much more engaging than,say, the bagger at the Apple store. Actually,moreso than most comedians,in my humble opinion. So put that in your Apple with a little brown sugar and cinnamon and bake it, mister!

Edward J Grug III

You know, if you're having a hard time thinking of things to do with that box of books you mentioned, you can send one to me.

I'll even put in one of my up-coming comics (that only a few hundred people will look at).

Product placement is awesome.

tonya2.0

I would like to be given both MIB's book and EJG's comic. I like to read. I especially like to read free stuff.

ShaloMolam

Michael, you are a beautiful person and we (I'm sure it's not just me) love ya. Stop with the kvetching!

LBUSA

Hi; I hadn't even heard of you until you were on stage with those 2 brilliant guys. I was in the audience, and I too (like you) wish you weren't picked for the job. You seemed bitter and envious, which I guess was really the case when I read this blog. Sorry, mate!

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