Hopefully This Doesn’t Come Across As Sexist, But Sarah Palin Can Suck My Dick

I’ll leave the point-by-point rebuttal of Sarah Palin’s convention speech to the policy wonks. The only point I am interested in making at the moment is that Sarah Palin can wrap her juicy moose-eating lips right around my dick and suck it raw. This is not a personal attack on her. Not at all. I am just pointing out that Sarah Palin can put best put her two years of gubernatorial experience to use by taking my turgid cock into her mouth until I shoot semen into her Great White North.

Sarah Palin is a reformer. And as a reformer, I suggest the first thing that she does when she gets to Washington is to get down on her knees and blow me. Why? Because that would represent real change in America.

She has shown such fortitude and resolve when dealing with the powerful special interests and media elites that deep-throating me should be no problem at all. This is a woman who can handle anything: she can drive all five kids to hockey practice, snowmobile over Mt. Everest, teach creationism to the PTA and still have time to skin a non-endangered polar bear. With all that on her plate, a little dick sucking should be a piece of cake.

And lest any of you think this post is sexist, it’s not. Because Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and Fred Thompson can suck my dick, too. I don’t want John McCain to.

Comments

[Reen]

Holy GOD I'm going to get fired!

STOP IT!

[Melissa]

Why not McCain? Because he would keel over and die right there at the sight of your penis?

[Preston]

http://scienceblogs.com/neurotopia/worst%20mccain%20photo.jpg

...

[sherrie]

She is undeserving of your wang, but I get your point, dude.

[Satur9]

Right ... freaking ... on!

I love you. It's official.

[Sarah]

Hot damn, I love you.

Brilliant my friend, brilliant as always.

[s.gothman]

I love you!

[Susanna]

Why does Sarah get to have all the fun??

[ChloeJ82]

Turgid. Good wordage.

[me again]

Not sexist, more like asshole. Have you been hanging out with Tucker Max?

[Camille]

So...you're telling me there's a chance you'll vote Republican?

Looking forward to the finale of Reality Bites tonight!

[Cooper]

It's probably wise to keep McCain far away from your penis. Watch those denchers! You rule :D

[Shouldn't but did]

It's "d-e-n-t-u-r-e-s", Coop.

[Zane]

Your thoughts on either of these subjects interests me very much. Combining the two leaves a bad taste in my mouth (pun intended).

[Leery]

"I don’t want John McCain to."

Fucking ageist.

[Amber]

Rewarding her like that will only further encourage her bad behavior.

[Lindsay]

The only thing that could make me hate that woman more would be if she actually had the pleasure of sucking your cock. She should be so lucky!

[Dave]

I'd go gay for you, Michael. I don't say that often.

[Jaime]

Yuck. Nope. Sorry.

[Stacey E]

Then it won't be sexist for me to invite you to suck my nonexistent dick. There's nuthin offensive about that at all. I just dislike her because she thinks it's fun to murder animals. Hunters are dicks.

[Brian G]

Why don't you have your own TV show? I mean I know you did but why don't you have one now? Come to think of it you should have your own network, "ALL Black ALL the time."....Thank you for keeping me laughing!!!!

[Reen]

This blog was SO wrong, but damn you if I wasn't in stitches. One of these days I'm going to find a pink slip on my desk due to all this unprofessional giggling. Since it will be your fault, indirectly, you'll feel guilty and compelled to hire me for *something*.

::tuneless whistling::

[black ian michael ilan mitchell-smith]

these comments are shameless. btw, anyone catch cindy mccunt's orange legs last night?

[Severed]

Oh michael, How I love you so.

[Nerf]

I would vote if Sarah P and Condy Mac come out with a hardcore girl-on-girl video. Lots of assplay too I hope. Then and only then will The Emporer have my vote