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August 29, 2008

What??!

Is he kidding? How can John McCain make the argument that Barack Obama isn’t ready to be president when he picks a running mate with even less experience than Obama to be his vice president? Is he actually retarded? When you are seventy two years old and attempting to undertake one of the most strenuous jobs in the world for at least four years, don’t you want to at least consider the notion that you might drop dead?

Memo to John McCain: you might drop dead.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has been a governor for two years, and before that a mayor for ten, the mayor of Wasilia (population 5,000). My brother-in-law was the Republican mayor of Waseca, Minnesota, which has about the same size population, and I can tell you with absolute certainty after playing foosball with him in his basement that my brother-in-law is not ready to be president of the United States of America. I’m not even sure that he’s ready to be president of his rotisserie football league.

For the last month, all we’ve been hearing about from the Republicans is that Barack Obama is not ready to lead this country. That he doesn’t have the experience or the judgment. Didn’t they just set the bar even lower by picking this chick? Yes, she’s a member of the NRA. Yes, she’s a former sports reporter which will be useful when conducting photo ops with members of whoever wins the Stanley Cup in 2010, but is she ready to assume the reins of the most powerful job in the world if John McCain should succumb? The question is rhetorical because anybody who isn’t on John McCain’s vice presidential selection team already knows the answer.

No.

John_mccain Picture 2 

                                (McCain/Palin - Really?!)

The vice presidential selection is the first presidential decision a candidate makes. How could he botch this one so badly? Could it possibly because he’s trying to woo alienated Hillary voters? Again, rhetorical. Does he really think one woman equals another in their eyes? If that were so, why didn’t the go gaga for Elizabeth Dole when she ran in 2000? After all, she’s got the same exact reproductive system as Hillary, give or take. Although, maybe I’m mistaken. Maybe Hillary Clinton supporters will rally behind a pro-life, Republican, moose-burger eating, lifetime NRA member. Or not.

This smacks of Dan Quayle all over again. It’s the classic strategy of picking somebody who “balances the ticket” instead of picking somebody, like Barack Obama did, who actually brings something to the table and is ready to assume the presidency.

Let’s see how Sarah Palin balances the McCain ticket:

McCain: Really old.
Palin: Really young.

McCain: Really male.
Palin: Really female.

McCain: Kind of unattractive.
Palin: Kind of attractive.

McCain: From a hot state.
Palin From a cold state.

McCain: Former prisoner of war.
Palin: Former beauty queen contestant.

McCain: Ran for first congressional seat in 1982.
Palin: Won high school basketball tournament in 1982.

McCain: First-term congressman in 1984.
Palin: Elected “Miss Congeniality” in 1984.

McCain: Spouse is an affluent WASP.
Palin: Spouse is a Yup’ik Eskimo.

McCain: Extremely rich.
Palin: Extremely into snowmobiling. 

McCain: Rips on Barack Obama for being too young and too inexperienced to become president.
Palin: Too young and inexperienced to become president.

I’ll be honest, I was hoping McCain would pick the snake oil salesman Mitt Romney because I thought he was the worst choice out there. I was wrong. I mean, if you’re going to pick an inexperienced former beauty contestant and television personality, why not pick Kathy Lee Gifford? She’s also got the Christian thing down, also married to a jock (Palin’s husband is a champion snowmobiler), and at least Kathy Lee is used to spending time with a cantankerous, much older man.





 

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Kathy

Yay! I'm originally from Waseca--and now live in CT. Great blog!

 je ssperesso

sorry, you're wrong, disgruntled white hillary voters will vote for mccain now. he's won. and he took all the attenion away from obama's speech. mccain is going to easily win with this woman. america is doomed.

Some Dork

I agree, I too was rooting for Romney, because I know he'd be rejected by McCain's base and the undecided voters (except in the Mormon states of Idaho and Utah, which are safe GOP anyway).

In my mind, this pick (gamble) comes down to balancing two major things. McCain steals Obama's post-convention hype vs. removing his ability to talk up Obama's inexperience. There are other factors, as I point out here:

10 Reasons Why Palin Will Win And Lose The Election For McCain

( http://www.somedork.com/daily-ramblings/10-reasons-why-palin-will-win-and-lose-the-election-for-mccain/ )

but that is the major gamble that the McCain campaign took with this selection.

Jaime

Thirtysies!! Hahahaha

CAM

Ahhh.....I was hoping to find something to really make me laugh about McCain's VP pick since I've just been staring at the TV with my mouth agape, in shock, since earlier today.
Thanks Michael, good stuff!!!

Obama/Biden '08!!!

Julie

I love that someone would remove your blog from their bookmarks because of your political views. They don't have anything to do with your hilarity. Someone's a little extreme here.

amy

a-fucking-men.

melanie

oh so she has a little bit MORE experience in government than obama does. you're right. she SUCKS as a choice.

Bella

I'm hoping that for the talent portion of the VP nomination she will play the flute while shooting her guns and trying to get knocked up for the sixth time. All to the tune of "Flight of the Bumblebee" and while wearing a sparkly gown.


Bye K!!!!

Bella

Oh yeah... and yes, McCain IS retarded. With a little senility on top.

Burny5

Is it just me or does she look like the chick from Adam Ant's "Goody Two-Shoes" video?

Csquaredplus3

Clapping... Yes, McCain made a retarded decision. He also sealed the deal for Obama, unless voters are...retarded.

Zane

I was going to stay away for a while lest I call someone else a nincompoop but the comment about SP looking like the girl from the Adam Ant video got me. Funny.

Michael, as always, great blog.

A guy I know here in San Diego says he has known SP for years (he used to be a DA in her town, which they called Diddlerville because it had more sex offenders per than another other city in America) and when asked what he thought about her nomination stated only, "She's a good mom."

Felicia

I find myself wanting Tina Fey to leave 30 Rock and go back to Saturday Night Live for the next few months (please god, not years) to imitate her. She'd have to get down the girly lisp thing that Sarah does, which is already ANNOYINGTHECRAP outta me. I mean, I'm a girl and all, but I don't like the cutesy voices. I bet she does the fingertip handshakes too, god those are annoying.

I predict Biden eats her for lunch at the debate -- but then people go to the McCain camp 'cause Joe was mean to a girl

Jim

Yup, somehow I don't feel safe with her in the second chair. I come from a town of 5,000 and our mayor's experience, while commendable, hardly has prepped him for being one large dose of viagra away from the presidency.

Stacey E

Please don't insinuate that a cult member would be a better choice than she is. Yeah, that's right-Mormonism is being referred to as a cult. I'm not afraid.
Had he chosen that slime-mold, I wouldn't still be willing to vote for him.
Sure, it could be called hypocritical, but just about everything the current bunch has engaged in could be called that. (from both sides)
--I always thought you were Canadian-what a dissapointment to find out you were born here. I've got no illusions left to cling to.

Stacey E

Please don't insinuate that a cult member would be a better choice than she is. Yeah, that's right-Mormonism is being referred to as a cult. I'm not afraid.
Had he chosen that slime-mold, I wouldn't still be willing to vote for him.
Sure, it could be called hypocritical, but just about everything the current bunch has engaged in could be called that. (from both sides)
--I always thought you were Canadian-what a dissapointment to find out you were born here. I've got no illusions left to cling to.

Aaron

Yeah, I'm not really sure what McCain is thinking either. Or K, for that matter.

elissa

the last line is brilliant. and i agree with your stance 100%

beth

hi - i loved this post. i think, (and these are not unique observations) in addition to the reasons outlined here, mccain picked palin because biden could not gouge her in a political knife fight - which is his specialty - because there is nothing there to pick at.

in thinking on this choice, the possibility of mccain getting elected and dying becomes evermore frightening because, well, if bush is any indication of a puppet, then this poor woman might be just this, at hudsucker proxy level.

Jaime

oh hell yes. You just said hudsucker proxy. "You know -- for kids!"

Cee

She’s been in elected office longer than Sen. Obama. She’s been the chief executive of the state that provides 20 percent of America’s energy; she has balanced budgets; she has had executive experience as governor, as mayor, as a city council member and PTA.

Alaska's annual budget is 10 billion dollars and employs over 25,000 people.

Furthermore, by the Left continuing to belittle "small" towns, you lose a lot of votes as America is made up of 1000's of small towns. There is a whole world outside of NY and LA.

Ralph

Who else thinks Palin looks like Britney Spears?

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