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August 29, 2008

What??!

Is he kidding? How can John McCain make the argument that Barack Obama isn’t ready to be president when he picks a running mate with even less experience than Obama to be his vice president? Is he actually retarded? When you are seventy two years old and attempting to undertake one of the most strenuous jobs in the world for at least four years, don’t you want to at least consider the notion that you might drop dead?

Memo to John McCain: you might drop dead.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has been a governor for two years, and before that a mayor for ten, the mayor of Wasilia (population 5,000). My brother-in-law was the Republican mayor of Waseca, Minnesota, which has about the same size population, and I can tell you with absolute certainty after playing foosball with him in his basement that my brother-in-law is not ready to be president of the United States of America. I’m not even sure that he’s ready to be president of his rotisserie football league.

For the last month, all we’ve been hearing about from the Republicans is that Barack Obama is not ready to lead this country. That he doesn’t have the experience or the judgment. Didn’t they just set the bar even lower by picking this chick? Yes, she’s a member of the NRA. Yes, she’s a former sports reporter which will be useful when conducting photo ops with members of whoever wins the Stanley Cup in 2010, but is she ready to assume the reins of the most powerful job in the world if John McCain should succumb? The question is rhetorical because anybody who isn’t on John McCain’s vice presidential selection team already knows the answer.

No.

John_mccain Picture 2 

                                (McCain/Palin - Really?!)

The vice presidential selection is the first presidential decision a candidate makes. How could he botch this one so badly? Could it possibly because he’s trying to woo alienated Hillary voters? Again, rhetorical. Does he really think one woman equals another in their eyes? If that were so, why didn’t the go gaga for Elizabeth Dole when she ran in 2000? After all, she’s got the same exact reproductive system as Hillary, give or take. Although, maybe I’m mistaken. Maybe Hillary Clinton supporters will rally behind a pro-life, Republican, moose-burger eating, lifetime NRA member. Or not.

This smacks of Dan Quayle all over again. It’s the classic strategy of picking somebody who “balances the ticket” instead of picking somebody, like Barack Obama did, who actually brings something to the table and is ready to assume the presidency.

Let’s see how Sarah Palin balances the McCain ticket:

McCain: Really old.
Palin: Really young.

McCain: Really male.
Palin: Really female.

McCain: Kind of unattractive.
Palin: Kind of attractive.

McCain: From a hot state.
Palin From a cold state.

McCain: Former prisoner of war.
Palin: Former beauty queen contestant.

McCain: Ran for first congressional seat in 1982.
Palin: Won high school basketball tournament in 1982.

McCain: First-term congressman in 1984.
Palin: Elected “Miss Congeniality” in 1984.

McCain: Spouse is an affluent WASP.
Palin: Spouse is a Yup’ik Eskimo.

McCain: Extremely rich.
Palin: Extremely into snowmobiling. 

McCain: Rips on Barack Obama for being too young and too inexperienced to become president.
Palin: Too young and inexperienced to become president.

I’ll be honest, I was hoping McCain would pick the snake oil salesman Mitt Romney because I thought he was the worst choice out there. I was wrong. I mean, if you’re going to pick an inexperienced former beauty contestant and television personality, why not pick Kathy Lee Gifford? She’s also got the Christian thing down, also married to a jock (Palin’s husband is a champion snowmobiler), and at least Kathy Lee is used to spending time with a cantankerous, much older man.





 

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Matt

First!!!!11!!11

Matt

And, Waseca, MN? Really? I lived in New Richland (same county) and sold books door-to-door in Waseca, MN a few summers ago in college. And I went to one of the town's little fairs or something. The town had pretty much nothing to do, but the people were nice at least!

haley

a+

Dave

This is an absolute hail-mary pass. Although, I can't help but wonder how many voters will see Palin as an "equivalent" to Hillary. She is quite possibly the worst VP candidate that McCain could have come up with, excluding Ross Perot.

s.gothman

Totally.

Susanna

CLASSIC!!

Well, I suppose this means Barack will be elected for sure now. I mean, can we all just get excited now??? I AM!!

Duey

Everyone of you is a freaking idiot. This pick was extermely brilliant and when McCain is elected president in November you can all set around and piss and moan for four more years until you pick your next loser.

s.gothman

Hey Duey. What makes this an "extermely brilliant" selection on Senator McCain's part?

Jeni

YES! My thoughts EXACTLY!

Duey

WHHHHARBBLGARBL!

Belove

Stranger than fiction. You can't make this $tuff up!
The answer to the question "Is he actually retarded?" is No, he's just a uber-rich insane POW.
Go Obama!

Reen

FANTASTIC !!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many great and hilarious points. Those pictures side by side are too much! She looks like she could be his granddaughter. His saucy granddaughter, even. (Think Ted Knights braless granddaughter in "Caddy Shack" - and yes that ages the shit out of me).

Oh, and plus...this "unconventional" choice ensures that McCain will squeeze as much coverage out of his VP choice as humanly possible. Afterall, Barack The Celebrity has had the spotlight for way too long.

If parts of the undecided American public still consider Barack an unknown after a year, then how much research do we think that same group will do in the next 60 days trying to get to know her? At least your blog sums things up for them very nicely. (tee hee)

Supposedly she is a brilliant speaker. I didn't hear her this morning, have no idea. But, then again,I could care less. She looks way too much like Erin Moran/Joanie Cunningham for my taste. Which can only mean one thing. She'll let some intern name Chachi give her oral sex.

I hearty-heart-heart-heart your political blogs Michael.

Camille

I found the whole thing odd as well. Maybe he thinks the Hilary voters are as smart as the people who keep Tori Spelling's book on the NYTimes bestsellers.

Camille

Hillary...whatevs.

cat

Exactly what I was thinking.

But I still can't believe Ron Paul dropped out. Who doesn't want a gynecologist as president?

Satur9

Excellent blog! It's always a pleasure to hear about your political views.

Honestly, it makes me sick to think about how blatant his intentions were. How can we trust someone whose first big decision was so obviously in his best interests (picking someone inexperienced simply to garner support) rather than doing what's best for the country? It speaks volumes about his character, in my opinion.

Kathi D

And what a cynical pick, as if the Hillary vote will go to "whatever" woman.

McCain is a fucking ignorant jackass and I hope this brings him DOWN.

Manobon

Sooo, the recent entries sort of scared me:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/xxfactor/

Also, apparently many women didn't vote for Kerry because they thought his Wife was 'off-putting'. Do not underestimate the amount of retardation.

Comans

It's not just that it's a Hail Mary pass.
It's that it's a Hail Mary pass while he's got the lead!

I just don't understand it. The Republicans actual had a pretty decent hook in the Dems with the experience argument. They were getting good results out of it.

And then McCain just says "Ya know what? Screw it. You can win, Obama. Here."

Nicole

I completely agree. It came out of nowhere. It's like "Here's your Disney Political Princess, everyone! Vote for me!" It also doesn't hurt that she's got oil ties.

Camille

Oh, and I wish I would have read your blog before going out today. The local NBC "out on the town" guy was asking people about it. I ended up shoving my friend in front of the camera. McCain must want to lose at this point.

K

Very lame, Michael.

And with this post, I am removing your blog from my bookmarks.

Enjoy those tax hikes you'll experience if your man Obama is elected? (Or do you have your money protected in an offshore account like so many other celebs?)

Reenis Meanis Suck Someones Penis

Tax hikes? Sheeeeeeet.

Bye K, man oh man will we miss you. Right you guys? K is going...

:-(

:-(

:-(

(What. I'm PMS'ing, ok?)

Lollie

I actually love taxes, they are what make my world go right round. I will not miss K, not in the least.

Freddie

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