Sorry I've been in absentia (Latin for "on board a UFO") for the last week. Michael Showalter and I were taping our pilot for Comedy Central and I did not have any free time for blogging. How did the taping go? It was a disaster. Most of the problem had to do with the fact that we only had five days to shoot the entire thing. Ordinarily this would be enough time to shoot a half hour television pilot, but I stupidly scheduled a bunch of softball games at the exact same time that we supposed to be shooting. Big mistake. Obviously, the TV pilot should take precendence over some recreational softball games, but our team is in the hunt for the league title and I felt like the guys really needed my moral support (I spend most games on the bench because I am not "good" at softball). As a result of all this softball, we ended up shooting less than half of the script in our allotted time. So instead of a half hour pilot, we will eventually wind up with a thirteen minute pilot. Will this affect our chances of getting picked up? Almost certainly, yes.
On Friday, we taped the live portion of our pilot. This also did not go well, largely as a result of my freaking out on an audience member and storming off the set. What happened was this: in between takes, I noticed a girl in the audience whisper something to her friend which I interpreted by anti-Semitic. Why I interpreted her whispering in this manner I do not know, but I responded by calling her a "fucking Nazi cunt" and running away. In retrospect this was probably not the best reaction, especially because later I was told that the girl was asking her friend if she had a breath mint. The girl was understandably upset at my outburst and production shut down for a couple hours while members of the crew were sent out to find me (They finally did find me at a nearby diner where I was gorging on multiple vegan milkshakes.)
I recently went vegan, which has been absolutely fantastic. At first I was worried that it would be a difficult transition, but I've been pleasantly surprised at how smooth it's gone. For anybody thinking about going vegan, here's what I ate for lunch this past week:
Monday - grilled eggplant, basmati rice, fruit cup, jasmine tea.
Tuesday - steamed asparagus, tofurkey burger, flourless chocolate torte, sparkling water.
Wednesday - fried okra, small piece of grilled salmon, brownie, diet Dr. Pepper.
Thursday - spinach salad with bacon, organic beef medallions, vegan cookie, Dr. Pepper.
Friday - BBQ short ribs, pork loin with drippings, veal chops wrapped in veal, Death by Chocolate also wrapped in veal, jasmine tea.
A gentle reminder: those of you who promised checks to donorschoose.org please send them in. My teacher friend in Alabama told me that, although the fulfillment was completed, she cannot get her school supplies until the all the promised money has been received. School is already back in session, which means that every day that goes by without the promised money, another kindgergartner dies.