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July 20, 2008

My Favorite Comments Regarding My Post, "I'm Gonna Kick Tucker Max's Ass."

Tucker is going to crush you. This shit is great.

Yeah I agree, bro you are a vh1 pussy to the max. Your ass is grass.

micheal you are a dead man tucker is gonna be shit-housed drunk and beat the shit out of you.you better start making doctors appointment right about now

All this makes me want to not read Michael Ian Blacks book- Tucker Max fans must stand against this pussy and his queerbag book.

Were you born a disgusting piece of slimy amphibious shit or did you have to work at it? Go climb up a rope Mikey and please for Tucker and everyone else fall face first.

tucker max will destroy you all.. VH1 is for pussies and tit sucking faggots. tucker max for president.

Well dickheads....tucker accepted and agreed to the terms.....i hope you don't think your hero really has a chance though.....get the fuck out of here with that shit.

You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into, you raging pussy.

your a fucking idiot.
tucker max will beat your ass
and its funny that you are scheduling a fight at 8 in the morning to have an advantage.
he's gonna beat you drunk,hungover,or totally sober.
your a jackass

Michael, I used to have respect for you. You were pretty funny on VH1. You can now make your death wish, because it's extremely unwise to call out a belligerent asshole. He, according to his myspace page, is accepting. He even offered to show up drunk and sacrifice his next big payday if he is defeated.

You don't stand a chance, Michael.  He fighting you would be like Kimbo Slice fighting a small child.

Your going to get fucked up...

end of story, tucker is the fucking shit
theres a reason he gets pussy and you dont

You're so not funny michael ian black. In fact, when I see you on any VH1 show, I immediately want to remove my eyeballs from my skull with a melon baller.

Tucker will straight up own you, not only physically, because you are such a whiny little bitch, but he will continue to outsell your unfunny ass as well. You see, he is actually FUNNY, which I believe is somewhat of a pre-req to being a comic.
You douchetard.

Wow. From the looks of your blog Mr. Black (I had to scroll up to remember your name), you haven't even read his book. I would do some more research on someone your going to call out before you start challenging people to duels. i.e., "the time we almost died"

Possibly the dumbest marketing strategy I have seen in a while. Fire your publicist/mother immediately. Your body is going to resemble something more like a scrunched bloody pillow when he's done with you.

Tucker- leave some lasting scars everyone can remember him by, it would be the only fair thing to do.

Tucker Max is the fucken man, you are simply all pussies. Enough said.

dude your so dead. Just cause Tucker is a lot cooler than you is no justification to call him out. Now he's gonna make you look like a punk bitch cause you know you won't fight him. He'll kick the shit out of you. Theres a reason he's Tucker Max and your Michael Ian Black whose just going to be remembered as some pussy who thought he could get away with calling Tucker Max out. Can't wait to see the video on youtube.




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This shit is fucking poetic.


sloppy seconds

Scarlet Bloodletter

This blog is testosterone scented!


I love how they take this feud seriously, when you pepper your post about it with respect for his craft and how you'll prolly lose. You would have recieved the same reaction had you acted like this was a full on Spedaris-esque feud.

PS- Today I looked up your book on Amazon and they suggested I would enjoy buying one of Pepe LeFrenchie's books with yours. Haha. The only joy I could get out of that would be ripping it up and feuling my fireplace with it for which to read your book by, in the most comfortable place possible.


I am staying inside and drawing the curtains shut tight till they all go home.


Oh, those Tucker Max fans!;) They make me giggle.


I'm not exactly sure what a "melon baller" is, but it kind of sounds like an ice cream scooper for watermelon. Anyway, there are a few things you can do to claim victory:

1. Show up naked, no one is going to hit a naked man.
2. Tell him that if he wins you're going to fuck his mother on camera.
3. Punch him in the nose and throat at once. He won't be expecting to get hit with two fists at once, because it's never happened.

Good Luck.


Wow, what it must be like to have so much free time and so much idiocy.

But I like Shaka's idea of showing up naked.


These comments make me want to kick something. My elderly,arthritic dog does not thank you,Michael.
I need an upper now. How about posting some of the more glowing remarks?


what a bunch of douchenozzles....


Sorry for the second post but I'm confused.... how did these tucker, uh, "fans" make it through the word verification when they posted their comments?

First, it would require letter & number recognition, which alone is a talented feat for them.

Second, it would certainly require them to stop jacking it to photos of Tucker Max with their left hand, while their right index finger is shoved up their butthole, long enough to threaten you and then figure out the encrypted alphanumeric code.

My conclusion.... Michael Ian Black is posing as his own group of haters! Found you out, ya funny little man.


you can feel the chest-bumps from here.


Lol, Douchetard.


"your such an idiot"

Those commenters are a bunch of unintentional comedians.


I think you should try to lick Tucker in the fight. That would be funny. He would never see that shit coming. And if he started licking you back, his fans would react by yelling slews of homophobic remarks, yet would be confused by how tight their pants seemed all of a sudden. Am I calling Tucker's fans gay? No, but I'm definitely not not calling calling them gay.

I will see you tomorrow in Chicago. Can't wait!


i think all your haters just need to get laid.

me again

Why are you so obsessed with mean comments and negative reviews??


I don't understand the concept of "tit sucking faggots". Are the tits sucking the faggots? That's just anthropomorphically weird. Assuming they intended some hyphenation, wouldn't the act of tit-sucking, in general, mean that one is not a faggot? Not in all cases, sure, but on the surface at least.


lol. I like how about 98% of these comments essentially say, "we only mayde it to the forth grade so SUCK IT BITCHES! whoo! go nascar and incest!"



Oh, Michael, please brush all those negative TM comments right off your shoulde (I'm sure your maid will Hoover up that filthy mess for you). Methinks you are ruminating on this too much and need to set your mind on more positive things. I suggest you take a hot bath, masturbate, have a nice beverage and then answer all of those questions I sent you (with love). All I ask is that you don't write angry. You promised. Thanks in advance.


Guess what? Im posting as a guy named Jeff, but thats not even my name.


Why can't people learn the difference between you're and your. Seriously.


Oh Michael, dear Michael.

Forget the haters; bask in the great outpouring of adoration and devotion from your internet buddies.

And I'm betting Fucker Max doesn't look as good naked on a bearskin rug.

All this macho posturing by his male fans makes me think they are over-compensating; it must be confusing to them that they enjoy reading his grotesque sexual exploits, yet wish he were doing it to them. The liberal use of homosexual insults is simply their cry for help with opening the closet door.


these people are fucking retarded


Wow, Tucker Max fans are exactly like I expected them to be.

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