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« I’m Going to Kick Tucker Max’s Ass | Main | Tucker Max is Quaking in His Little Girl Ducky Boots »

July 13, 2008

IT'S ON!!!

That didn't take long at all.

I'm going to fight Michael Ian Black - July 13, 2008 04:38 PM


                 

This doesn't really have anything to do with the movie, but I am going to put it here anyway.

If you have been paying any attention at all to popular culture for the past decade, I am sure you know who Michael Ian Black is. If the name doesn't ring a bell, you almost certainly recognize his face, he is the only commentator on all those VH1 flashback shows who is actually funny, instead of just annoying.

Anyway, Michael has a new book out, and as a way to publicize it, he has challenged me to a fistfight. Here is what he said:

So Tucker Max, you drunk, misogynistic motherfucker - I am officially calling you OUT! I am going to fist fuck every hole in your boozy little body until you crawl away like the sniveling little bitch that you are. YOU'RE DEAD!


You can read the rest on his blog
.

Michael, I have no problem helping you get the word out about your book (which I hear is funny). But there is price to pay for trying to publicize it on the back of my popularity:

I accept.

I'm completely serious. I'd LOVE to fight you.

I'll even promise to show up drunk as shit. I'll drink an unreasonable amount of alcohol before we fight--20 beers, 30 beers, whatever it takes to me plastered. And if you don't think I'm drunk enough, I'll keep drinking. As long as I am conscious and able to stand on my feet, I'll fight you.

And here's the kicker:

If you beat me, I'll give you the next royalty check from my book.

It should be about 150k, give or take agent fees and other things. I am completely serious.

We don't even have to make this a bet. You win, you get the money. I win, I get nothing (except the satisfaction of standing over your broken, bleeding body and drunkenly yelling at you, "GET UP YOU FUCKING PUSSY! GET UP AND FIGHT!," or something to that effect, since I'll be drunk I can't quite predict what my words will be, or that they will even be enunciated or understandable).

Email me and let's set the time and place: tuckermax@gmail.com

And just to be clear: This isn't personal. I think you are a funny comedian, and I really respect your work. I'd much rather kick the shit out of someone who deserves it, like Benji Madden or Brody Jenner. To that effect, I promise when I kick your ass, I'll do my best not to leave any permanent damage.

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ralph

first

Brad OFarrell

HOLY SHIT BOOKS JUST GOT INTERESTING.

ralph

this has celebrity boxing written all over it.

Julie

DO IT!!

Camille

I saw that. So are we going to see a contest for who will become your trainer?

I bruise easily but I can mouth off ,duck and cover like nobody's business.

Chris

For a comedian that guy is not very funny.

Steve Huff

This is the most awesome thing in the history of awesomeness. And Tucker Max better not get too confident, because Michael is jewish, and all jews learn krav maga at birth or something. Krav Maga is serious business, too:

http://www.kravmaga.com/

Michael, if you somehow managed to miss your mandatory krav maga training shortly after your umbillicus healed, then please, wear a cup and a mouthpiece to protect your pearly whites.

Burny5

I don't care about the fight, I want to read the stories that come out of it. Fight, Fuckers, Fight!! By the way, read Tucker's account of his first time going anal after reading MIB's about asking for it. I smell synergy.

Reen

Oh you boys and your testosterone!

Susanna

Nuts. Go for his nuts, Michael!!!

Therese

Do it, Do it, DO IT AULD MAID!

Danielle O.

I love this.
I absolutly love your book.
I love Tucker Max's book.

I think you guys should duke it out on a comedy central special.
yep.

Jenny

Oh dear God. this is equally hilarious and frightening.

Matt

Do it for Allah or whomever the jewish god is.
Though I have just recently become a Tucker Max fan, and a big fan at that, I've been a fan of Stella/ Michael Ian Black for a much longer time.
Speaking of such, will D.W. and M.S. be there to cut your eyes if they swell shut?

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