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July 11, 2008

I Am The Hot Slut of the Month

You can read all about it here

Until very recently I didn't know there was such thing as Hot Slut of the Day, Week, or Month. Furthermore, had I known, I don't think I would have considered myself a viable candidate for said honor. The word "hot" has rarely been applied to me. The word "slut" - never (except for a few weeks in eighth grade). So I find myself perplexed and a little touched to be June's Hot Slut of the Month. I do not know what my official duties will entail, but I imagine they will be very dirty. So be it. I am willing and able to perform all manner of filth.

Like Miss America, I plan on devoting my reign this month to a charitable cause. I haven't chosen my charity yet, but I think it might be something having to do with penguins. I know penguins aren't very slutty by nature, but they're awfully cute. The way they keep those penguin eggs warm between their feet? Adorable. Maybe I could combine penguins with something a little sexier, like orphans. I mean, I know that technically orphans aren't that sexy, but when you consider that orphans are usually the byproduct of sex, then I think you see where I'm heading. Maybe I could start a program where I bring penguins and orphans together. If it's enough orphans and enough penguins, that could be kind of slutty.

Anyway, presumably I will now also be in contention for Hot Slut of the Year. I don't know if it's too early to start casting your votes for that, but if I win I promise to do unspeakable things to all of you via web cam.

Jackass_penguin

                                     (such a slut)

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Just A Girl

I voted for you! Congrats!

m~

I didnt vote for you. But then again Im lazy.

congrats, I think.

Susanna

Rightly deserved, you slut!

R_Bishop

i'm not gay, but i'd dip my balls in him.

Julie

I voted for you! Many many times and blogged about voting for you. I don't think you actually get anything, but I figured this could be something you put on your resume. It'll look really good to all those future employers.

Zane

Your kids must be proud.

molly

I was gonna vote for you, but I don't think the poll was up at the time or something, then I forgot about it. But I'm glad you won!

Reen

Show us your tits!

Selena

Mmm, you certainly do deserve to be the hot slut of the month. Go you.

Viva La Lohan

ha! I love it you funny, funny man.

attila the honey

it's better than being the cold slut of the month...

Migraineuse

Sorry, can't get over your wonk eye.

saintchick

O' did I vote for you! uh about 5000 times. You deserve it. You Hot Slut !

laura

sorry i always thought you were gay...just read on your info you're married with kids...then again....

laura

and congrats on the hot slut of the month...DLISTED is the church i choose to worship daily.

BangoSkank

I voted for the teenage Japanese tranny pop-singer... for obvious reasons... but you would have been my second choice. Congrats!

Huriyki

Congrats!You deserve the title!

Especially because of your name:
M.I. Black

HeatherNumber1

The irony being, of course, that most penguins are monogamous. For shame, Michael.

Winners Use Drugs

LOVE that you wrote a response to Michael K! Seems his Hot Slut feature (hee hee or according to Phoebe Price "Hot Babe") is gaining more notoriety all the time. I was very happy when he chose to put you up there, voted for ya a few times!

BerlinBetty

Micheal Ian Black for Hot Slut of The Year, all the way. I hope you actually honor your promises, and don't leave us hanging. Because I will curse your name and your penguins.

Jenny

To be honest I had no idea who you were until you graced the pages of Dlisted nor did I vote for you. But hey, look up, you're funny and cute in a serial killer type of way so that's gotta count for something..right?

JulieAndrews

I voted for you!!! YAY!!

Have a super slutty month sexy :P

Jason

I was raped by a penguin. I don't find this funny at all.

I_Luv_VH1

Oh, YES!
I touch my no no bits while I watch you on VH1...shhh!

Stop teasing me Michael...

like_OMG


MICHAELLLLLL!!!!

GUH..Will you marry me???

I Love Youuuuu!! ^_^

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