I Am Currently Outselling David Sedaris
While perusing the Amazon sales rankings of my book, which I do occasionally (every fifteen minutes), I noticed that I am currently outselling David Sedaris's 1994 book "Barrel Fever" in the Humor Section. Here is proof . (By the time you click on this link, it may no longer be true, but you will have to take my word that it once was.) Of course he has about ten other books on that list that are currently outselling mine but I would like to make the point that mine is the only one of those books that HAS YET TO BE PUBLISHED!!! Which is to say, my YET TO BE PUBLISHED book is outselling one of David Sedaris's already published books. Impressive? Oh yes. Further, mine is the only one which has an essay entitled "Hey David Sedaris, Why Don't You Just Go Ahead and Suck It," which is kind of like bending matter back on itself. Additionally, alone among our books, mine is the only one with a blurb from David's sister Amy. Why is it that I love Amy Sedaris more than David Sedaris? David Sedaris, you are a bad brother.
Am I attempting to start a literary feud with David Sedaris with the feeble hope that the resultant publicity will increase sales of my book? Yes.
Actually, the greater pleasure was seeing that you are nearly 10 positions ahead of smegma like this: The Rick & Bubba Code: The Two Sexiest Fat Men Alive Unlock the Mysteries of the Universe. You have no higher calling than to outsell shit like that, m'man.
Posted by: Chief Fever Nuts | June 19, 2008 at 09:42 PM
Congrats on your [one-sided] feud!
You are also outselling What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats by Jack Handey. Have you read it? 'Cause it's the best.
Your book must be at least six steps more best!! WOWOWOWOWOW.
Posted by: Sara | June 19, 2008 at 09:52 PM
A. Holy crap, did you really jump from 65,414th to 22nd place in like two days, or am I reading this wrong? Is that really the result of some, "Tap tap tap, I'm your pal MIB, and I'm awesome y'all. Don't forget my book" moves? Crazy.
B. Don't get too comfy. You still have to beat _Rick and Bubba's Expert Guide to God, Country, Family, and Anything Else We Can Think Of_. Do NOT rest on your laurels Michael (that would hurt).
Posted by: Jaime | June 20, 2008 at 01:34 AM
Boy, some of these essay books sure do have long titles. Luckily, your book fits right in. The number 1 spot is within your grasp! It probably wouldn't hurt to keep verbally bitch-slapping David Sedaris ("If you bitch-slap, they will come...").
Posted by: Susanna | June 20, 2008 at 01:52 AM
high five!
Posted by: that stoner kid | June 20, 2008 at 05:32 AM
I had a dream that you were promoting your book on Oprah and she began to chastise you for the "If I Had A Slave" essay.
I can't remember what happened after that but I think I stood up and did the snap/headswirl combo in your defense.
This whole book thing is getting very exciting!Muy happy for you.
Posted by: Camille | June 20, 2008 at 08:14 AM
You are a very funny man, that's why Amy likes you and would give you a quote. Also, she hates her brother.
Posted by: Tom Lewis | June 20, 2008 at 09:11 AM
I'm reading the site, and it says it's updated hourly. But since your book is selling so many copies, It must update every fifteen minutes.
Posted by: Sean B. | June 22, 2008 at 09:16 AM
http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/books/16004731/ref=pd_zg_hrsr_b_1_4_last
You currently outsell all David Sedaris books in the humor section.
Posted by: Sean B | June 22, 2008 at 06:55 PM
You have a great sense of humour :)
Posted by: Sudoku Print Puzzles | December 31, 2009 at 01:25 PM