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June 24, 2008

Announcing the First Ever “Transform David Spedaris Into A Supervillain” Contest

[NOTE: If you are new to David Sedaris's unprovoked feud with me, you can start by reading here.]

This is some exciting, exciting stuff. In my quest to rid the best-seller lists of all things Spedaris, I am pleased to announce this contest, which was created by my friend and blog-helper Steve Huff.

The idea is so simple it’s genius: take any photo of the cigarette-devouring David Sedaris and, using whatever media are at your disposal, alter that photo in such a way as to transform the internationally esteemed memoirist and beloved NPR contributor into a supervillain.

What kind of supervillain? That, Dear Reader, is up to you.

I will announce the top three finalists on July 2nd.  Then, two days later, on July 4th, the birthday of the greatest country in the world – a country which Mr. Sedaris has shunned for the Nutella-loving shores of France - I will announce the Grand Prize Winner!

What does that person win? The greatest prize in the history of prizes, that’s what: an autographed copy of my new book, “My Custom Van (and 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays That Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face”)! I will personally have my assistant make it out to you with the inscription of your choice. PLUS, you will also receive a gift certificate to Bath & Body Works for twelve dollars. Truly an amazing, amazing prize. Total retail value: over fifteen dollars!!!

Please name your Spedaris supervillain and include a brief description of whatever super-villain powers he may possess.

To submit: either post your entry (entries?) to your image hosting account (like flickr or photobucket), then post a link to the image in the comment section of my blog.

Or you can send it to randomlunatic@gmail.com as an attachment and put "David Sedaris Supervillain" in the heading.

Good luck, Godspeed, and may the best David Spedaris Supervillain Portraitist win.

Sedaris1

(He's even starting to LOOK French!)

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Comments

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Preston

Firsties! I'm the man!

Chief Fever Nuts

Chief Fever Nuts approves.

Of his own idea. Hee.

Camille

So how does one go about posting the picture?
Could you just loan me about $500 to fly to Chicago for the book signing? No? Thanks anyway.

Man,I never win anything.

Chief Fever Nuts

Camille -- go for it anyway. In 6th grade I thought I never won anything, so when it came time to enter a contest for best decorated box for Valentine's Day cards, I put together something really goofy and simple -- a shoebox wrapped in plain red tissue paper. On the top I wrote "please give to the heart fund" (hey -- I was in 6th grade, after all).

Well, I won the stupid thing. So don't sell yourself short.

If you have a flickr, photobucket, or imageshack account, you can upload the image to that and post a link in the comments here. Typepad comments automatically hyperlink, so just a cut & paste of the URL should be fine. Otherwise we may have an e-mail address to which you could send the image as an attachment. I'm waiting to see what Michael thinks of that idea, so I won't post the e-mail. I will say this, the e-mails would come to me and I'd forward the ones that were clearly intended to demonstrate via photo editing Mr. Sedaris's true, nefarious nature.

I won't participate in the contest because I thought of it, but I keep picturing Mr. Sedaris in some Ming the Merciless sort of getup.

Now that I've dated myself, I bid you adieu.

Rylee

What if I have and share, get this, a real, completely un-altered picture of Spedaris doing something so off the wall, that it will blow your mind (all over your face)? What'll that get me? Anything

Severed

I'm SO gonna win this. >:3

Chief Fever Nuts

Just so y'all know: the randomlunatic gmail in Michael's post above is MINE. I'll forward image submissions to him.

Severed

I have a question though. Are there any rules for this contest? I mean like am I able to make Spedaris into an asshole. (I thought of it first. :P ) Or Would this not be allowed due to it being to graphic?

Chief Fever Nuts

I'm only speaking for me here (meaning I haven't asked Michael what he thinks or anything), but if I were doing this, I'd adhere to a reasonable standard of taste. I'm fairly sure a big, hairy anal opening would not qualify. And remember: Supervillain. Lex Luthor, Ming of Mongo, the Phantom Limb (I'm a Venture Brothers fan, can't help it), Mr. Freeze, the Joker... you get the idea.

s.gothman

Still, Michael?

Curt

http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/7088/spedarishp8.jpg

I hear his favorite dictator is Stalin.

TMo

I worked all morning on this. Instead of work. I heart MS paint.

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/schencks84/THESPEDOPHILE.jpg

Therese

Yes, I do have better things to do with my time than this paltry effort. But I am weak.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/68881752@N00/26101

Therese

Goddammit, the link didn't copy properly. This is it:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/68881752@N00/2610187887/

TMo

Hey the above link I posted is dead... here is the new one:

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/schencks84/THESPEDOPHILE-1.jpg

Sean B.

Hey Michael, I made a 2-part one. The first one is general pictures and the super-villain info,
you'll probably love the second one though. It's his revenge against you.


General Pictures and Info
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27984726@N03/2610414209/
David Spedaris Strikes Back
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27984726@N03/2611308298/

Chief Fever Nuts

Personally, I think this photo of NPR's favorite ex-pat humorist has potential:

http://michaelianblack.typepad.com/blog/images/2008/06/20/sedaris_2_5.jpg

Chief Fever Nuts

I forgot to add that the photo linked above is the one that inspired me to suggest this contest to Michael in the first place. (Chief Fever Nuts is a perfect anagram of my first, middle, and last names. And it made me laugh like an idiot when I came up with it.)

Chief Fever Nuts, aka Michael's "friend and blog-helper," Steve Huff

Color Crayon

Now I know Steve Huff's middle name.

Sean B.

If you want a single picture from any of mine, you can ask for it Michael.

Chief Fever Nuts

Color, it was already out there, somewhere.

Guyinthenextcubicleover

David Spedaris Super-Villain Portraitist: My business cards actually say this...

Sean B.

Heres part 3 of my first two Michael

Part 3
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27984726@N03/2611526134/


Parts 1 and 2 (Already Posted)
General Pictures and Info
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27984726@N03/2610414209/
David Spedaris Strikes Back
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27984726@N03/2611308298/

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