A Blatant Attempt to Draw New Readers to My Blog By Using Popular Search Terms as They Appear in Real Time on Dogpile.com’s SearchSpy Feature
“What happens if I mix Paxil with alcohol?” I wondered to myself one day, while working on my collaborative mail art. Yes, it had been a long day in the Chesapeake Bay Area, but my Yankee custom truck cap was still fresh, my Okuma saltwater rods were still in order, and my Subaru 2.5i speed parts were ready to go.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. It was the topless Olson twins.
“Come in,” I said, gesturing towards my free full length incest movies, “Let’s wrap ourselves in the Serenity bath towel collection and have a cum party."
They giggled, and sat. Did I have any advice about treating poison ivy, they asked. “No,” I said, “but I’ve got some rainbow lightning bolt clip art that will blow your mind.”
We had a good laugh about that, then read the Bette Midler 2008 review in the Richmond Times Dispatch. Ashley wondered if she was displaying any stomach cancer symptoms but Mary Kate and I assured her that it was just her pancreas location, and that a good lymphatic cleanse would make her feel good as new.
After a heated discussion about the Season 2 winner of Tila Tequila’s “Shot of Love,” we called it a night. They left me with a quote from the Tarahumara Indians of Mexico, which went something like this, “Wide oak knotty flooring and free violent commix will never replace the Tecumseh engine diagram when it comes to hot 13 yr. old guys.” I didn’t understand what the fuck they were talking about, but they were topless, so I let it go.
As I closed the door, I took out my pineapple slicer and thought about all the free legal advice I could have given them. I watched a quick teen home-made video, put on my republic of tea t-shirt, turned off the lights, and went to sleep. That night, my dreams were filled with foot doctors in Orlando.
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