"Don't Drop the Soap"
While in the shower this morning, I accidentally dropped the soap. Whenever this happens, I am reminded of a warning given to young men throughout history when they find themselves in a situation in which they are showering with a large group of other men. Somebody will inevitably say, “Don’t drop the soap,” which is supposed to imply that if you DO drop the soap, one of your fellow bathers will rape you. It only occurred to me today what a stupid thing to say that is. If somebody is going to rape you in the shower, it seems to me they are not going to wait for you to drop the soap to do it. They will probably just go ahead and rape you. Whether you manage to hold onto the soap or not is most likely beside the point. Because that’s the nature of rape. It’s not the kind of activity where an asshole presents itself and a fellow suddenly thinks to himself, “Hey I could rape that!” Unless, perhaps, you are showering with a bunch of rapists. Then maybe a person would have that thought. But if you ARE showering with a group of rapists, then I have to believe you are either a rapist yourself or you are the kind of person who has terrible judgment. Either way, in that situation, there is a chance you are going to get raped. But as I said, NOT because you dropped the soap.
Nor do I think your dropping the soap will be interpreted as a subtle invitation to insert their wieners into your butt the way a lady dropping a handkerchief is a subtle invitation for a favored gentleman to begin courting. The only way I could see somebody making this mistake is if, when dropping the soap, you decide to retrieve it by spreading yourself spread-eagle, asshole agape. Then, perhaps, I could see a fellow bather wondering to himself, “Is he trying to send me a signal?” But it would take a pretty confident man to think to himself, “Yes, he IS sending me a signal. And the signal he is sending me is, he wants my dick up his butt. I will oblige.” I just don’t see that happening.
If you are still worried, a word of advice: if you do find yourself in a situation in which you are showering with a bunch of other gentlemen, and you drop the soap, simply retrieve it by lowering yourself to the floor with your asshole down, not out. Not only will this discourage anybody from inserting themselves into you, but I also think it’s just good manners.