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April 10, 2008

On Vacation

I'm going on vacation with my family tomorrow. We'll be gone for about a week. Where are we going? Before I answer that question, let me just say it's been kind of a tough year. Sierra Mist is gone, I don't have a TV show on, the standup is going okay, but when you get done with the travel expenses (blow), there's not a lot of money left over. So I feel good that we're able to take a family vacation at all this year.

We're going to Youngstown, Ohio. Why Youngstown? For starters, it's Ohio's eighth largest city. We've been to the top seven, and it's always been a dream of our family's to round out the top eight. Also, there's lots to do in Youngstown, including the Steel Museum and a walking tour of distressed properties. If you like fine cuisine, as the wife and I do, Youngstown boasts several fine establishments. We were anxious to try Rachel's, a local steakhouse, but after reading the following review, I am rethinking that decision:

A diner     from boardman, OH         gave an overall rating of 2.0  out of 5 stars on February 19, 2008
When entering into Rachel's, you are greeted by the most immodest looking child I have ever seen. She carries herself with no class, and thinks the less clothing she wears, the better! I am shocked that this is what the owner wants at his door. The food was extremely overpriced, and my steak was overcooked! The cooks were coming out of the kitchen using fowl language and all my husband and I could hear during dinner was the the rap kitchen music! The owner was rude and the service was terrible! I'd NEVER go back!

Yikes! The overcooked steak I could handle, the immodest looking child I could tolerate, but once you throw in rap kitchen music, consider this camel's back broken.

Anyway, we're staying at the Comfort Inn & Suites. Yes, they have a pool. No, it is not filled at this time of year. The kids are disappointed, so to cheer them up I told them every day that we are there they can each pick ONE item from the vending machine. Cheez-Its and Starbursts may not be the most nutritious lunch, but if there's one precedent I don't want to set while on vacation it's "eating healthy." They get plenty of fruit roll-ups at home; we don't need to be food Nazis while on vacation, too.

Some other attractions: the Southern Park Mall, which has a JC Pennys AND a Sears AND a Dillards!!! Youngstown may be eighth in size, but when it comes to shopping, I think you'll agree with me that it's clearly number one! Also, I''ve heard rumors about a place where you can get discount smokes, so I'll be looking into that. And there's an an art museum (we're going to skip that one).

So it should be a "fun" time. My only concern is how the kids will behave on the bus ride there and back. Guess we'll find out soon enough. See you in a week!


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Tay Zonday

Have fun, my Jewish piglet.


So funny! Have a great time in Ohio. I know Chrissie Hynde likes it there.

(And is there a way to subscribe to the blog feed yet? I google you to check for blog updates more than I google Hal Sparks for Queer as Folk gay pics. And that's a lot of googling, guy.)

Peace out.


If anything, fowl language just seems out of place in a steakhouse.

Nicole Cooper

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA Michael you're so modest.


Very funny!!!


I get to spend all of next week in Bridgeport, New Jersey for work. I hear they have just gotten a new Applebee's. Jealous??


You know, I've noticed that your "friends" Michael Showalter, and David Wain never comment on your blog. Now what friends are they if they don't comment? Do they even read your blog?

Have fun in Ohio. Stay away from the one-eyed cats.


Ohio? Wow, I almost forgot that state existed. Pics! Lots of em, please! Especially of the busride and distressed properties/hookers.

me again

Reen, you can suscribe to this feed on Google Reader.

For me, the best part of this story was "fowl" language.


Thanks for that tip Me Again. I think I subscribed correctly. We shall see.


"I don't have a TV show on"

Well what's Reaper, scotch mist? You've never given us the lowdown on your part in Reaper. I simply refuse to believe that you don't have any gossip from the set.

C'mon. Pretty please with a perfectly cooked steak on top?


I see that Garafolo and Showalter have a little comedy tour goin on right now? Whats the deal? Did they not send you an invite??


here's something to cheer you up: http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/nerveeditors/50GreatestComedySketches/01/

nerve.com made a list of the 50 greatest comedy sketches ever. the state gets 4 nods, two of which mention you specifically.


C. Baines

You can come out here to Palmdale for Dillard's. Whatever the hell a Dillard's is.

Tom Lewis

Best use of "immodest" since Dickens.


My sister recently ordered Stella, and I just wanted to give a little "Shout Out" to whoever designed the packaging--really nice plastic covering, it covered the box wonderfully without being an asshole about it. Thanks!

Kinky Chink

Yeah Michael, nice package. Heh-heh-heh.

Me again

Please hurry back. My life is devoid of laffs. Oh sure, there's a chuckle here and there, but it's not the same. I think watching The State during my formative years did some kind of permanent damage to my sense of humor.

Oh and if you see Showalter, kick him in the nuts for not blogging. Or ask him politely to do so. Your call.




Okay, vacation's over, kids are back in school, let's see some pictures of the fam drinking margaritas and doing the limbo Jamaican-style.


I want to go to vacations with my family too, but this weekend I'll go to the beach with my boyfriend, we'll enjoy it a lot because we deserve a cool vacations, thanks God that we do not have children yet.

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