« BREAKING NEWS!!! ANGIE HARMON TO SUPPORT JOHN MCCAIN!!! | Main | Here I Am Talking to Rabbits »

March 05, 2008

A Scene From A Movie About A Jewelry Heist Gone Horribly Wrong


JINX, QUENTIN, and POTTS, bleeding from a bullet wound to the shoulder, are sequestered in this crappy, dusty shelter. POLICE SIRENS can be heard in the distance. The men look miserable and exhausted. Potts is gamely trying to suppress his agony.

Jinx (looking out a grimy window): Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit!

Quentin:  Calm down.

Jinx: Fuck you, Q. We are fucked, man. We are seriously and royally fucked here. How you doin’, Potts?

Potts: Not good, Jinxy baby.

Jinx: He’s losing a lot of blood, Q. We gotta get him to a doctor.

Quentin: Nobody’s going anywhere. Not until I say so.

Jinx: You’re not in charge anymore. Once this shit went bad, it became every man for himself.

Quentin pulls out his gun and points it at Jinx’s face.

Potts: Hey c’mon, Q. Jinx is just a little shaken up, right Jinxy? He didn’t mean nothing.

Jinx: Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I don’t know what I’m saying, Q. I’m all shook up. That’s all.

Quentin cocks the hammer back on his pistol. Presses the barrel of the gun against Jinx’s forehead.

Quentin: Who’s in charge?

Jinx: You are. You’re team leader. Just like always.

Quentin removes the gun from Jinx’s head, slowly lowers it.

Potts: So what do we do now?

Quentin: We wait.

Just then, SALVADORE bursts into the room. He wears the bottom half of a duck outfit and is bleeding from a stomach wound. He collapses on the floor. Quentin and Jinx rush over to him.

Jinx: Jesus! Sal!

Salvadore: Agua. Agua.

Quentin: Get him some water.

Jinx: All I have is the rest of the my chocolate milk.


Jinx: Here. Here.

Jinx takes the chocolate milks off the top of a crate and hands it to Quentin. Salvadoe reaches out for it.

Quentin: Not so fast. Were you followed?

Salvadore: No, senor. Nobody follow me. Please, la leche chocolate.

Quentin: How did they know we were going to hit that jewelry store, Salvadore?

Salvadore: I don’t know.


Salvadore begins to cry.

Salvadore: Por favor…

Quentin pours some of the chocolate milk on his stomach. Salvadore screams in pain.

Salvadore: AAAAAH! Please, the chocolate milk, it burns!

Jinx: You’re killin’ him, Q!

Without even looking, Quentin pulls out his gun and aims it at Jinx’s face again.

Quentin: The cops knew we were coming. They knew we’d be wearing duck outfits. So what I’m asking, Salvadore, is HOW THE FUCK DID THEY KNOW???

He pours more chocolate milk on the wound.

Salvadore: AAAAH!!!!

Jinx puts his hands over his ears and begins to cry.

Salvadore: It was Maria.

Stunned silence. Quentin staggers back, turns the gun to Salvadore.

Quentin: You’re lying.

Salvadore: No, Quentin. It was Maria. My girlfriend, your baby sister. The policia. They got to her. They told her they knew about the duck costumes that she made. They told her they would take Jimmy away. They told her she would never see him again.

Jinx: He’s lying, Q. He’s got to be lying.

Quentin: Potts, you used to be a profiler with the FBI before you turned to a life of crime. What do you think?

They turn to Potts. He’s slumped against the corner, dead. Jinx rushes to Potts, checks his pulse.

Jinx: He’s dead.

Salvadore: Mr. Quentiny, you can shoot me if you want. I am a dead man, anyway. But I will die with the truth on my lips. It was… (he chokes a little, he is losing consciousness) Maria.

He dies.

Jinx: Sal? SAL!

He rushes to Salvadore, checks his pulse.

Jinx: He’s dead.

Quentin looks lost. Slowly he raises the gun towards Jinx.

Jinx: Hey c’mon, Q. You heard Salvadore. What’re you pointing that thing at me for?

Quentin looks at Jinx, crazed, then raises the gun to his own mouth, and pulls the trigger. Then he slumps again the wall, dead. Jinx watches in horror. The door to the warehouse opens. A PERSON IN A DUCK SUIT enters carrying a SAWED-OFF RIFLE and A BATTERED SUITCASE. The duck walks past Jinx, surveys the carnage, then takes off the duck head. It’s a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN in her 20’s.

Jinx: It’s over, Maria.

They embrace and kiss. Jinx takes the suitcase and opens it on top of a crate. Inside is A SMALL VELVET BAG and A TWO CARTONS OF CHOCOLATE MILK. He opens the bag and spills out the contents. Diamonds. Lots and lots of diamonds.

When he turns back, Maria has slipped out of the duck suit. Underneath she wears a pair of cut-off jeans shorts and a tight-fitting t-shirt.

Jinx tosses her one of the chocolate milks and takes one for himself. From his back pocket, he produces TWO CRAZY STRAWS. He hands one to Maria. Closes the suitcase.

Jinx: I love it when a plan comes together.

They kiss and walk out of the warehouse, leaving the others behind. In the distance, POLICE SIRENS.



TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference A Scene From A Movie About A Jewelry Heist Gone Horribly Wrong:


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.




Me gusta!


People in duck suits, man. You just can't trust 'em!


Needs more product placement. The milk should've been Nesquik or Yoohoo or something.


Salvadore's cries of pain made me laugh with glee.

chris flannery

"I love it when a plan comes together."

I pity the people who find that phrase tried.


Future State sketch????


I hope it was soya milk...

Molly Mary

Please tell me that this scene is in Run, Fat Boy, Run.

refrigerated trucks

I laughed hard on that part. It entertained me a lot!

The comments to this entry are closed.