Austin
Normally when people think of Arctic cold, they don't think of Austin, Texas. They weren't at our show the other night. It was very cold, which wouldn't have mattered, except that the show was outside. An outside comedy show in freezing rain is not normally my idea of a good time, but I have to say, the audience was superb. First of all, they showed up, for which they get a big gold star. Then they had the decency to laugh at the jokes, and as far as I know, nobody died from hypothermia. There was at one girl in the crowd who was certainly in danger of dying from alcohol poisoning, as evidence by her drunken slurring from the front of the stage any time either Michael Showalter or I said anything. Was it annoying? Yeah, it was. Did I ask her to shut up? I did. Did she shut up? No, she did not. Finally, as a last resort, I brought her up on stage with me to discuss why she felt the need to flap her big drunken lips. The audience was very upset with her, and it was all I could do to keep them from tearing her limb from limb. How did I treat her? With love. And guess what? It worked. She went back into the audience, never to be heard from again. I felt like Gandhi overthrowing the Colonial British. Maybe it wasn't quite as dramatic as that, and I did not need to endure a lengthy hunger strike to achieve my goal, but it definitely showed the power of non-violent protest. Later in the night, I heard that girl was savagely beaten, but I had nothing to do with it. Austin, you're a great town and thanks so much for showing up in the miserable weather to come see us.
Here's a picture of the club:
Hey Michael, my friends and I had a great time. The show was the funniest comedy show I have seen. I met you guys when you came to Austin at the drafthouse and I have to say you guys are the nicest celebs I have met. Hope to see you guys in Austin soon.
Also my friend stole your M&M's from the stage.
Vince
Posted by: Vincent | January 20, 2008 at 11:36 PM
How cold was it? Would you compare it to a cold day in Hell?
Posted by: Susanna | January 21, 2008 at 12:12 AM
How cold was it? Would you compare it to a cold day in Hell?
Posted by: Susanna | January 21, 2008 at 12:14 AM
You WERE the epitome of love-induced pacifism. That was truly impressive. I can't tell you how many times my husband and I looked at each other (okay, like five) with wide mouths and eyes that said, "oh no she di'int," ready to storm the stage in your defense. But alas, there was no need. You had it covered.
Question: How awesome are you?
Answer: Very.
We loved y'all. But it was very very cold. And teeming with tall people (you DO have a very tall fan base. I agree.)
Posted by: Jaime | January 21, 2008 at 12:51 AM
At first glance, I thought the title was "Autism"
But I guess they're pretty much synonymous.
HEYOO!! NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK!!
Posted by: kelsey | January 21, 2008 at 01:18 AM
I hope you were at least treated to a ceramic space heater and hand warmers (no,not a euphemism)backstage.yeesh!
Posted by: Camille | January 21, 2008 at 09:36 AM
Your blog is addictive.
Posted by: Michael Ian Crack | January 21, 2008 at 01:46 PM
I agree with that addictive thing up there.
Posted by: Jaime | January 21, 2008 at 02:16 PM
Could I feel my toes by the end of the show? No I could not. Was it worth it? You bet yer tootin' parka, funny boy. So it's settled then: you simply *must* come back in more temperate times.
Posted by: Texas Fan | January 21, 2008 at 10:17 PM
I couldn't feel my toes, either. But the show was worth it. You guys were great and I hope to see more of you guys in the future. And Stephanie was not cool. Too drunk. Way too drunk. You should practice your inappropriate hip hop dancing. Showalter has it down. I'll be practing mine.
Posted by: Laura | January 22, 2008 at 12:11 AM
dude, you could have fucking died
Posted by: Tom Lewis | January 22, 2008 at 12:54 AM
There's no snow in England at this time of year. Just sayin'...
Posted by: Therese | January 22, 2008 at 07:26 AM
well, screw the somewhat cold. It is MUCH colder in CT. Connecticutions, Nyers and Massholes love the freezing weather...alright, this may not be true, but the winter has a huge boner for us.
Posted by: Linz | January 22, 2008 at 01:02 PM
You put on a great show and you handled the hecklers in a memorable way that made up for their tomfoolery. When My Custom Van comes out, it'd be great to see you at Book People, where their events are always held indoors.
Posted by: Carter | January 24, 2008 at 11:28 PM
Again, yes you are great, hilarious and wonderful people. Yes is was cold and strange.
You did not address that you have freakishly tall fans. You can not continue to ignore this issue. The little people vote to you know.
Still truly yours,
Lewis
Posted by: Lewis | January 27, 2008 at 05:14 PM