At the Airport
I'm finally heading home from Canada. While I enjoyed my time in the Great White North, it will be good getting back to a place where people actually speak English. I'm posting the accompanying photo to show that, as popular as rainbow machines are in Canada, even here they go on the fritz. Normally the Vancouver Airport is awash in rainbows, but when I arrived today I was informed that the entire system was down for reasons they could not explain, although I strongly suspect terrorists. Pictured is the top of my head and their vast array of non-functioning rainbow machines, which are ordinarily the pride of Vancouver:
As you can see, they're just kind of dully glowing up there, no rainbows in sight. I've been assured that they've got teams of leprechauns working on the problem, but my guess is my flight will have long departed before they get the problem resolved. No big deal, as I've got my own rainbow machine waiting for me at home, but still. When you fly first class (as I always do), the least you can expect is a working rainbow machine in the airport boarding area.
Anyway, it will be good to get home and see my children, whose names escape me at the moment. I bought them some gifts at the Duty Free shop. I hope children like perfume and fine liqueurs. Sunday I'm going down to Baltimore for a show with Michael Showalter. Expect lots of jokes about crabs and Old Bay seasoning. I've been working on a several hour's worth of Old Bay seasoning jokes for the last year or so, and I've been waiting for the appropriate venue to try them out. I think Baltimore might be it.
Total poker winnings in Vancouver: a meager $700 (Canadian).