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November 09, 2007

Weather Check-In

They said it might snow today. So far, no snow, which is probably a good thing as I've been doing yardwork in my bathing suit all day. I know what you're wondering: "Don't you have illegals to do your yardwork?" Yes and no. Yes, I have lots of illegals to do my bidding, but I recently had to fire my yard guys because I caught them drinking from the hose. I don't have a problem with them drinking water - obviously, people get thirsty, but I specifically set up a little water stand for the guys when they need to drink. It's ten cents a cup, which I think is incredibly reasonable when you consider how much bottled water costs, and when you consider the fact that I have to get out there every day, set up the card table, put the cups and water out there, and then somehow corral my son to sit in the chair all day to make sure nobody sneaks any free water. Anyway, that's why my guys weren't out there in the yard today.

Next question: why was I wearing my bathing suit? Good question, and it really cuts to the core of who I am as a man. My philosophy is and always has been that if you've got it, flaunt it. Don't just flaunt it when it's "warm," or even "above freezing." Flaunt means flaunt it. That means all the time. Not just when it's convenient. So that when the neighbors ride by on their horses (I live in horse country. Gorgeous and very expensive), they think to themselves, "That guy's really got it." You might think I'm doing that for me. Not at all. I'm doing it for them - so they have something to shoot for. They look at me and maybe they get inspired to get off that horse and maybe take a job. That's why I do it, and I won't make any apologies for it. If it snows tonight, will I be out there wearing my bathing suit tomorrow? You bet I will. With bells on. (Not literally - I tried it, and the bells chafe.)

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Reen

This entry made my mascara run and my eyes get all "chinky".

You know what? I believe you! I do! You've now got that HUGE naked picture banner on your updated profile page to prove you're "ready" (albeit not "willing").

So keep on feeling free Michael - ride that groove. Let it aaaallll hang out, baby.

I'll refrain from adding "Awwww yeeeaaaah" here.

(Aw, smack that! Refraining isn't my forte'.)

"Awwww yeeeaaaaahhh!!!!!!!"

Therese

I'm never one to complain about your blogs, but really, this blog you chose not to illustrate?

SG

This is the best thing you've written in a year. Not saying anything else was bad, but this is A-game material. Classic Black.

Respectfully Yours,
SG - part of the silent majority

Mel

You're right.... bells do chafe...

Camille

It takes a real man to not fear the cold weather shrinkage. You go,girlfriend!

Susanna

Speedo? Please say "Yes".

Jenny

you know, it's the selfless people like you who, who give so much, that make it so great to live in this world.

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