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October 29, 2007

More Bad News

If you've been following this blog at all, you know that my rainbow machine is on the fritz. Normally when I work, I like to be bathed in sparkling rainbows, and I spent several hundreds on a (gently used) rainbow machine a while back for that very purpose. Recently it broke, and I've been trying like the Dickens to get it fixed since. Well, Michael Showalter and I were on the road all last week, so I've been unable to do anything about the situation. Today, my first day home, I spent the entire day on the phone with various rainbow machine repairmen, all of whom told me the same thing: it's going to cost more to fix the thing than to just go out and get a new rainbow machine. Here's the problem: I don't want a new rainbow machine because the new rainbow machines all use conventional electricity to power them, whereas mine is powered by magic; it's the magical components that make it so expensive to repair, because any time you repair magic it has to be conjured. It's not like you can just order a part from a warehouse. You have to conjure the part, and there are very few qualified conjurers out there, so they can charge an arm and a leg. A lot of people wonder why they don't just conjure money, so they wouldn't have to work, but those people are idiots. Magic obviously doesn't work that way.

The other thing about the newer models is that they all have features I neither want nor need. For example, the 6000 Model has a Web browser, a camera, and a "fairy dust" function that sprinkles fairy dust all over everything at the touch of a button. Guess what? I don't want fairy dust all over everything! I just want rainbows! Some of the other models have similarly stupid features. One of the more popular ones is a combination rainbow maker/MP3 player. So stupid! So that's why I just want to get my 4000 Series fixed. If anybody knows a good conjurer or even sees a reasonably priced model on the Ebay or something, let me know. I'm really in a dither without my rainbows.



(Completely rainbowless.)


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Completely rainbowless...and hairless! Now THAT'S magic!


I hate to see you in a dither.
I have no "in" with any (reputable) conjurers, but I do have a funky-looking crystal chandelier in my dining room that throws out tons of rainbows every afternoon when the sun hits it.
You and the fam could move in for a while till you get the proper replacement parts for your machine.
I'm sure my husband wouldn't have any problem with it at all.
But, just to be safe, can we say you are the new dog trainer? Cool.


A man should never be without his rainbows. Though I am unable to contribute a conjurer, I've included a picture of a lovely Hawaiian rainbow to help ease your pain.



I see your razor is still fully functional.

Like all good magic, when you start to analyse it, it breaks the spell. You have to believe in your Rainbow machine again.

Maybe we should all clap hands and make a wish ...


I majored in conjuring(with a minor in fashion merchandising) but dropped out,thinking "when am I ever going to use this in the real world?". Sorry,my hands are tied.
Your new pics are going to give all the ladies the vapors.

Your non-threatening,platonic fan,


You look like you could brew up some dark(?) magic yourself with that new sultry pic.

You see, rainbows come from the "light" side. You'll need someone who, in 5th grade, played "Glenda - The Witch of The Nawth" to cast goodness and warmth.

Let me get my big ass bubble and float on down.


Was that picture taken for a Queen album? [Not a gay joke, by the way, just a reference.]


Also, which browser do you mean? IE 8, 7 or 6? If you want to count them all to provclaim dominance, then you can”t say it”s a standards implementation, because 6 is not, and 7 probalby isn”t either. So please ”get the facts” rights.

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