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October 24, 2007

Horrible Review of "Run, Fat Boy, Run"

Although it doesn't specify me by name, here is a horrible review of the upcoming film I wrote, "Run, Fat Boy, Run."


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Am I retarded or something? I can't get the cut and pastes to work.

I'm going to eat some chicken. Someone figure this out.


Thanks Zane.

As far as this lousy article goes, "UK Therese" found others that stated otherwise. So there.


Fuck 'em.


Well pretty much all I can say is fuck that. I have yet to see the film, but once I buy it I will be able to say fuck that with much more conviction and proof. I figure you need some ego stroking cause that was pretty harsh so here it goes.
You are very attractive. You are the funniest man I have ever seen. You have created the best bits of comedic genius I have ever seen. You have a pleasing voice. You can pull off blond facial hair. You are incredibly talented. Everyone loves you and if they say they don't they are liars and if they really don't they are dumb anyway so who cares. You are the only reason people watch the "I Love the _0s" series. And you made people stop hating all commercials for a fair amount of time.

All in all, you rock.


That fucktard obviously just doesn't like Simon Pegg, or any of Simon's work. Or David Schwimmer and his work.

My guess? He has a tiny, tiny penis, and is also impotent because the geeks that made the girls laugh got all the pussy in college.

I'm sure the fact that the film was number one at the box office over for four straight weeks shows that Mr Floppy McTiny doesn't know his ass from his elbow.


'..Over here. I meant to say 'number one at the box office over here...'

I fail at life.


It doesn't sound like this Kohn guy did any homework, "...gives Pegg a screenplay credit, suggesting that he has written to his weaknesses." However, I had read in an interview that you said Simon made some minor adjustments, "elevator" became lift and "fanny" became "arse." I mean, if this guy wants to say the writing was bad he could do you the common courtesy of saying, "Michael Ian Black did such a poor job, not even Simon Pegg could save this script."
Well, I did a little research on this Eric Kohn guy myself. Did you know that he has contributed to Entertainment Weekly and FHM and has a debilitating addiction to black tar heroin? That may or may not be true, but what is true is that this Kohn guy sounds like a total "fanny."


What sort of putz writes a movie review 6 months before the movie comes out?


I believe the UK and US release dates are different, but I could be wrong. The UK site says September 7, the US says March 2008.
Although Eric "Track Marks" Kohn (so called because of the heroin habit I accused him of having above) lives in the United States, so it would seem an odd time to review the film.


Yes, it did come out over here on September 7th. No, I didn't see it because I fail at life.

And for every crappy review, there's been a decent one, like this:


here's an even worse review
but more because i don't know what I'm talking about
oh well
here's a nice interview i did with India de Beaufort:
maybe one day i will do one with you
i have a fascination with gnomes
and i like to eat dried pinneapple
oh well

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