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October 14, 2007

Elephant Rape

I've been working very hard on a bit about elephants raping rhinoceroses. Turns out it's hard to make rape funny. A lot of people think anything involving rape is inherently unfunny, and I suppose for the most part, that's probably true. But when you add elephants and rhinoceroses to the mix, isn't it even a little bit funny? I like to think so.

A lot of times people ask me if some things aren't funny. Yes. Drywall isn't funny. I spent months working on a very intricate drywall piece. No matter what I did, it just wasn't funny. Even with a Scottish accent. I finally came to the conclusion that it was the subject matter itself. Maybe somebody like Carlos Mencia could figure out a way to make drywall funny, but for me it's been a real struggle. So much so that I feel like I've hit a wall - a DRYWALL!!!

See? Not funny.

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Susanna

You know what else isn't funny? Carlos Mencia.

Therese

The problem is, you need to switch roles, have the rhino rape the elephant. Or Mencia. Turning this around onto Mencia will never get old.

Katy

Actually I think that you make rape quite funny which isn't an easy task. (Believe me I've tried and failed.) You, on the other hand, make rape seem silly and fun. So thank you Michael Ian Black... thank you.

Carly

I like to believe rape isn't funny. Just like I like to believe the Holocaust isn't funny. But, you know, comedians can do amazing things.

You did manage to make Hurricane Katrina funny. For that, I salute you.

mav

what if the drywall raped mencia?

Camille

You know what else isn't funny? Feline AIDS. Oh,wait.....

Ralph

My friend did a bit in his stand-up act involving rape and it killed. He spoke about being chivalrous in taking the rape first for a girlfriend when a mugger finds them on the dark streets.

I can ask him for a transcript of the act if you want to steal it. I don't know if he still does stand-up so you probably can have it.

Jenny

what about pretend rape?

asdf

yeah, almost noone find rape jokes funny. I once tried to mount a waitress at a local restaurant. I got her on the ground, and started pinching my nipples like mosts rapists do. I didn't think she would start resisting as soon as she did. she kicked me in the balls, pulled my hair and beat the shit out of me. Noone, not the patrons, not the chef, suspected anything, thinking it was a normal rape! so i figured, when i was laying on the (pretty sticky) carpet beside my teeth and some other gunk that probably belonged to my body, that it's time to reveal to everyone that it was a joke. so i did my best to stand up, started laughing and clapping my hands. Noone, i really mean noone, laughed. not even a smile. the asshole restaurant manager didn't even let me finish my meal! punchline is: almost noone likes rape jokes.

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