I know that topic heading is provocative. Is Orlando really that boring? No, not at all. Which is why I should never have used the term "Bore-Lando." That's wrong, and if any Floridians are reading this post, I apologize. It should really be called "Snorlando," because it's such a fucking snore.
Again, that was wrong of me to say, and again, I apologize. I saw a cheap joke there and I decided to go ahead and make it; I'm sorry. Orlando is a great town, although being in Florida obviously reminds me of the 2000 Presidential election, which was lost by Al Gorlando. Perhaps if he had won, we wouldn't currently be engaged with Iraq in a Warlando.
One nice thing about Florida, though, is getting a tan at the seashorlando.
So yeah, it's great to be here. At the moment it's about half an hour before showtime. I'm not going to make any more Orlando rhymes, and I'm sorry if I offended any Floridians, because it really is a wonderful city, filled with so many cheap women that they really should call it Whorlando.
That was uncalled for.